quote of the day

(Getting dressed in the locker room after swimming. I put on my canvas and rubber sneakers from Target.)

ELIAN: Mama, are those pretty shoes?

MAMA: Um, I don't know, what do you think?

ELIAN: Yes.


(Starting to re-evaluate the feelings I had those times when he said, "Mama, you look pretty.")

quote of the day

(After viewing some of the layouts Papa had been working on at home.)

"Papa, you're going to turn into a Hormel!"

joke of the day

ELIAN: Why did the man kiss the cans?

PAPA: I don't know. Why did the man kiss the cans?

ELIAN: Because he wanted to get some mans. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Ah, nothing beats four year-old humor. Just be thankful it wasn't a poop joke.

quote of the day

"What if I had like 300 pee pees. One coming out of my belly-button...one coming out of my side..."

brotherly love

a story as relayed by ed

A few weeks or months ago (I can't be trusted to keep track of time frames), Elian asked Ed how the steering wheel worked to steer the car. Ed explained it in most basic terms but when Elian asked how it attached to the wheels, Ed fell short of an explanation and said, "I'm really not quite sure how it's attached."

Fast forward to today. Elian goes to the bathroom and neglects to wash his hands afterwards. Ed says, "Hey Buddy, can you wash your hands?" And Elian asks, "How did you know I didn't wash my hands?" And Ed replies, "I know EVERYTHING..."

And Senior Smartypants says, "No, you don't. You don't know how the steering wheel works."

quote of the day

ELIAN: (Looking at our dinner plates, then looking at his.) Mama, why didn't you give me any salad?

MAMA: Because you have vegetables and when I give you salad, you don't eat very much of it.

ELIAN: Okay, that makes sense!

what will puppy bring?

Whenever we return to the house after being gone, Norman will always bring us one of his toys when he meets us at the door. He has a pretty extensive toy collection that we keep in a basket on the floor. He'll come to the door, tail wagging, then race back to his toy box digging just for the perfect toy and bring it back to us all in a matter of seconds.

Even before Elian was born, Ed and I played a game called, "What Will Puppy Bring?" On our way home, we would each make a prediction about what toy Norman would bring to us when we got home. Some of the choices include: zebra tail, green bone, fuzzy man, barbell tennis ball, squirrel, and black and blue bone and blue santa dog just to name a few.

When Elian entered the picture, the game got a little more elaborate. Now we play it opera style. And not only do you have to guess what puppy is going to bring it, but you have to make your proclamation at the top of your lungs, opera style in the car. And don't even think of interrupting Elian when he's holding a note. Some of Papa's performances build to the crescendo as we make our way out the garage door and I'm sure the neighbors question the bellowing operatic voice singing, "BLACK AND BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEE BONE!"

Elian is very amused by Papa's operatic stylings and has gotten quite good at them himself, using arm and hand movements to add drama to his voice. The other day we were shopping at Super Target and I forget what Elian wanted to look at, buy or comment about, but he did so singing it at the top of his lungs in opera style. If you ever want to get noticed in Super Target, try pushing a four-year-old singing opera around in a shopping cart.

profitable walks

In the past year or so, I have made almost $100 walking Norman.

On one occasion a while back, I found three $20 bills rolled up in the street. Another time, a single $20. And on two separate occasions, a single dollar. Then just the other day, Elian and I took Norman for a walk. We stopped at the playground so Elian could climb around a bit. We were getting ready to leave when he said, "Look, Mama" and pointed at some bills spread out in the snow. One five and three singles.

Usually when I come across free money like this, I throw it into Elian's college fund (aka: the giant glass jar we collect our change in). But since this find was his, I told him he could do whatever he wanted with it. He goes back and forth with wanting to save it and wanting to spend it on another HABA marble run piece. I had to break it to him that he would have to save a bit more before he could buy one HABA marble run piece since they start at about $20 each.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen that $8 since I put it on his pool table.

just keep swimming, swimming, swimming

This weekend Ed's sister Laura came into town with her boys. There was a visit to the science museum, car racing, swimming and a lot of boyish shenanigans. To say that Elian had fun would be a great understatement. I think the reality of their departure hasn't quite sunk in as there have been no tears yet. I'd include a shot of all of the boys together, but apparently I'm unable to take a photo that isn't horrifically blurry and my photographically gifted husband is no help whatsoever.

testing 1,2,3

I'm proud to say the little man has passed his pre-kindergarten screening with flying colors. And as he emerged from the room with the tester, the tester approached me and said, "He wanted me to tell you that he is very smart."

too much choice = paralysis (got 20 minutes?)

Came across this on TED talks. Lots of interesting talks there but this one struck me as exceptionally interesting. I'm the world's worse decision makers when it comes to buying things, and well, everything. I think this dude makes some excellent points. I think I would do a lot better in a country where choices are more limited. And maybe where I had to wear a uniform every day.

the future album cover

big fat faker

On walks in the past, Norman used to lunge at unsuspecting bikers and joggers who would pass us. There was also some alpha-dog attitude that put him in fighting mode when we would come across certain dogs (or people). Walks could get a little stressful. So a while back I began implementing a "positive behavior modification system." In other words, whenever we would come across another dog, I'd feed him a tasty bit of cookie or kibble. Same goes for people passing us by or anything else that would distract him and turn him into Cujo.

You can probably see where this is going.

Now, whenever he sees a dog or person walking, even if it's several blocks away, he looks to me for a tasty treat. Hell, whenever we walk about one block, he looks to me for a tasty treat, pushing my hand with his nose and boring into my soul with his dark brown pathetic eyes.

In the winter time, he often gets pieces of salt stuck between the pads of his feet. He will hold his paw up until I clean it out. In the past, I've given him treats for this because it makes it a lot easier to fix the problem when he shows me where it is rather than me watching him limp a while before figuring out which paw is affected. Hmmm, cookie after hurt paw? Duly noted, he thinks.

Since then, there have been several instances when he has "hurt" his paw on the exact same block in front of the exact same house. And today, I swear to God, he started limping, showed me a paw and then SWITCHED PAWS looking up at me as if to say, "Do I get a cookie for this, woman, or what?"

Too bad there are no Academy Awards for dogs.

it's no pbs

We've been lucky enough to be able to keep Elian from commercials with PBS. But now that we have our digital TV, we get a lot more channels. One of them is QUBO. It is here where Elian found his new favorite show: Turbo Dogs. I mean, what's not to love about dogs WHO RACE CARS!?!?!?

Elian didn't really know what to think about commercials at first. He seemed mildly amused by all the screaming and flashy colors like he had just been slapped in the face with a chunk of Jell-o. He usually would ask me to fast-forward through them. Until he saw the one where the kids do EXTREME tricks with slippery shoes on carpet. That's when I noticed his jaw begin to drop and the drool start to trickle from his mouth. And that's also when I explained to him that a lot of toys just aren't as cool as they make them look on TV. "Hell, your Papa can spend all day in Photoshop working on a piece of pork to make it look more delicious!"

Since Turbo Dogs is only on once a week and he just discovered it a little over a month ago, we don't have too many episodes in our arsenal. That doesn't really matter though because lately he pretty much just wants to watch the most recent episode until he gets a new one. Today we were watching it together when an ad for Mini Aqua Globes came on. And these ad people would've peed their pants had they heard what came out of my four year-old boy's mouth:

"I wish I had an Aqua Globe."

And I silently thought, "I wish you still liked Word World on PBS!"

quote of the day

I think Elian can tolerate pretty hot food for a little guy. Whenever Ed and I are eating something that I think will be too spicy for Elian, he always wants to try it, glass of milk at the ready. He's grown very interested in cayenne pepper and our family's love of spicy foods. And sometimes it seems like he's trying to prove to us that he's a big boy and can therefore eat spicy foods. I always tell him that it's okay if he just likes it a little spicy -- maybe he'll like it spicier when he gets older. The other day he said this:

"When I get older, maybe I can take a whole big jar of cayenne pepper and dump it in my mouth!"

quote of the day

"When I get older can I give YOU a bath?"

then there's this

another quote of the day

(We're at the doctor's office for the boy's 4-year well checkup, the doctor's making some notes in the computer.)

ELIAN: Do you have games on your computer?

DOCTOR: No, there aren't any games on here, do you play games? What games do you play?

ELIAN: I don't play. Sometimes I watch Mama play Burnin' Rubber.

MAMA: (Sheepishly) Um, it isn't as bad as it sounds...

quote of the day

(We're walking through the park on the way to pre-school and spot a some underpants and a sweater (nice).)

ELIAN: What's that??

MAMA: Looks like some lost their underwear and a sweater.

ELIAN: Somebody must have a cold bum!