guest blogger alert!

Unbeknownst to Ed, he is a guest blogger at Hernan-dos today. From his email:

i was complaining about that chemical smell, and was telling elian that i was going to find out where it was coming from and then send them a letter.

he asked how i would find out. i said i would follow my nose.

he asked if he could come along, and i asked him why he wanted to.

he said, "two noses are better than one."

a letter to the neighbors

Dear Nature-Lovers-Who-Leave-Demi-Baguettes-On-Their-Lawns-For-The-Bird,

my four-legged black hairy bird thanks you.

r-rated quote of the day

Elian's been really into planets and the solar system lately. Sometimes he likes to drop "Andromeda Galaxy" into conversations to impress the ladies. The other night we were pulling into the driveway talking about how we were going to look at the stars and see which planets we could see, when Elian yelled, "I think I see URANUS!"

Having the sense of humor of twelve year-olds, Ed and I began to giggle ("he said 'your anus...'")

But then, he said it again, "I DID, I SAW URANUS!"

(GIGGLE, GIGGLE)

And then, I SAW URANUS, URANUS, URANUS...

He would not stop saying Uranus and it was very funny, people.

Guess you had to be there.

quote of the day (and why having an older mom is not so bad)

The setup: We're driving in the car and we spy a guy riding his skateboard down the middle of the street doing all sorts of jumps and tricks.

ELIAN: Lookit! He's not even wearing a helmet or pads or anything...and he's riding down the middle of the street.

MAMA: Well, he's older. Sometimes when you're older you do stupid things.

ELIAN: That's what I'm going to do when I'm older!

MAMA: Oh, no you won't!

ELIAN: Well, you won't see me -- you'll be dead.


CRICKETS... TUMBLEWEEDS...

phase: teddy bear

When Elian was a baby, my Aunt Roberta made him this adorable fuzzy black teddy bear with movable arms, legs and head. He was immediately attached to his Ugli doll Target. And at such a young age, I didn't want to introduce too many stuffed animals in his bed, so we put the teddy bear on his bookcase where he sat and wisely watched over Elian's bedroom.

A few times I would take it down and show it to Elian and tell him how my Aunt MADE this teddy bear for him -- with her bare hands. He would politely comment that it was cute, but still he didn't seem to appreciate it much. In fact, he seemed a little nervous about it. So back on the shelf it went, relegated to room-watch bear.

But then last night something crazy happened. We were reading his "first words" Spanish book. We got to the word for teddy bear and Elian said, "I don't have a teddy bear, do I?" And I said, "Actually you do..." and I grabbed the Aunt Roberta teddy bear off the shelf and once again explained how she made it for him, how it has black fuzzy fur and brown eyes just like Norman... He looked and touched it with great interest as if for the first time. It was as if something in the teddy-bear region of his brain just charged up.

For the rest of our books, he clung to the teddy bear and bombarded me with questions:
How'd she make it?
What is its name?
How many teddy bears did you have when you were little, Mama?
How old are most kids when they like teddy bears?
Why are they called Teddy Bears?

And probably the best one:
Why didn't I like this teddy bear until today?

He told me he was going to sleep with it, along with two other teddy bears he has. I was skeptical. Normally, if he goes to bed with any animal besides Target, he usually calls downstairs and asks us to come and take it away. But last night he didn't. He slept the whole night with the big, black, fuzzy teddy bear. Then this morning, when he crawled into our bed he was carrying Teddy instead of Target. I imagine Target was feeling exactly how Woody felt when Andy got Buzz Lightyear.

We'll see where this goes. I won't be at all surprised if he changes his mind and the teddy bear goes back on the shelf. But even if this is a very short teddy-bear phase, it was amusing while it lasted.

big-boy milestone alert!

For a while Elian's been talking about taking the guard rail off his bed. I've been a little hesitant because 1.) the boy is a total wiggle-worm in his sleep. There have many times when I've gone in there and his head has been dangling off the opposite end of his bed -- the only small portion of his bed not covered with his guard rail. and 2.) C'mon, if we take it off, that means he's getting even BIGGER. Can't we stop his growth by leaving his guard rail on (kind of like foot-binding Chinese women)?

So a few nights ago we took it off and put my body pillow that I used during my pregnancy on the floor to catch any possible falls and hooray! so far, so good. Now he's asking that we remove the pillow. Guess someone's too cool to have their Mama's body pillow on the floor.

The child can be so odd. He suffers pretty extreme anxiety about the tear in his blanket or the possible ruin of his beloved Ugli doll, so I wasn't sure how he was going to take the whole guard rail thing. I had learned while I was reading about when's the right time to remove the guard rail (because of his crazy sleep movement) that children can have a very hard time with its removal. It's sort of like a security blanket for some. But he's like Meh, get rid of it! So now my baby's sleeping without a net.

Sniff. He's getting so big.

family photo

The other day Elian received a note from school that he needs a family photo for his Spanish class. Thank goodness for tripods and self timers. Sadly, Elian's school friends will come away thinking his Papa has only half a head. If only I knew Photoshop. I'd love to create a thought bubble for Norman in this shot. Hmmm, what would it say?

another quote of the day

A conversation after preschool.

MAMA: The board said you went for a walk today. Where did you walk?

ELIAN: I can't remember. I was talking to Andrew so I wasn't paying attention.

MAMA: Mmmm, what were you talking about?

ELIAN: Wireless internet.

quote of the day

The other day I used the phrase "sounds like a broken record." I can't remember what it was in reference to -- probably something Elian kept telling me, over and over and over and over again.

One of my favorite things is when Elian repeats a saying that he's heard with a slightly-off twist. Today Chewie was squeaking her ball over and over again and he said:

"She sounds like a broken...a broken...a broken (searching for the right word)...a broken...you know, a big DVD."

the baby playground has relocated!

Friday night Chewie! made her final destructive blow to the baby playground. There were many tears as the little dude headed out to soccer practice. While he was gone, I made an attempt to put it back together in its original form. Sadly not to his satisfaction (but I must say, somebody was a bit on the crabby side when I presented it to him).

Ed promised he'd help him make an even better baby playground upstairs. That way, Chewie! has less of a chance of knocking it over with her puppy happiness. So this morning, build a new baby playground they did. And I'm happy to report, the little man is happy. He proudly announced that this baby playground is v-shaped and really cool.

Ana Mama has her floor back. Alleluia!

pupdate

Chewie is adjusting very well to her new home. A little too well if you ask me. One of our biggest challenges has been keeping her off the couch when she sees that Norman gets to plant his furry butt there 24/7. YOU'VE GOT TO EARN IT, GIRLIE!

That and it turns out Elian doesn't like so much being bit and scratched in the face. Don't get me wrong, Chewie is doing very well with her training, but when Elian gets her riled up, there's no stopping her. The other day he screamed, "I DON'T LIKE HER!! I DON'T LIKE HER!!!" But I know he does -- he LOVES her. And so does Norman. Wait. Well, Norman's at least doing a great job tolerating her. And today when we were playing outside, I could swear Norman was making a small attempt at playing with her as she pounced around and ran circles around his achy bones. Chewie just loves Norman and she follows him around like an annoying little sister. As soon as she hears the jingle-jangle of his collar, she stops whatever she's doing and starts trotting behind Norman.

Ed is skeptical that I am getting the non-shedding dog of my dreams. AWe were told her mother was a standard poodle and her father may have been the neighbor lab who came over for a little boww-chicka-boww-woww. And if that's the case, she'd be in the labradoodle family. But according to my labradoodle research, the first generation labradoodles (half poodle, half lab) are more likely to shed. D'OH! Back to the pound you go, Chewie! I kid. We'll see. No dog could possibly shed as much as Norman.

Oh, and remember the Lego baby playground? That thing is even a bigger thorn in my side than before because now I've got a puppy who wants to gobble it all up and a little boy who screams any time the puppy goes near it. I can't tell you how many times I've fished the teeter-totter out of her mouth. Actually, our "Drop it" training has been so successful that I partly wonder how much she's taking stuff she shouldn't just so she can get a treat when she drops it. Hmmmm.

All in all she's a very good girl. Crazy smart. So smart that her first night home with us she unzipped her way out of her crate. It went a little something like this:

SOUND: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
AMY: It sounds like she's unzipping self out of the crate.
ED: Oh, she couldn't get out... SHE DID GET OUT!!!

Her antics are pretty much what I expected from a puppy. But we love her and she's a great addition to the family. And just to torture myself I keep checking petfinder to see if her siblings have been adopted. There are just two puppies remaining. Anyone?? Anyone??

introducing, chewie hernandez

In a moment of weakness, we drove two hours out to the Brainerd shelter and picked up this bundle of happy energy. We had been considering getting Elian his own dog for a while. Norman will be 11 this year and he's not a big fan of playful childish antics. He's sort of like a grumpy old man. On top of that, he suffered a pretty bad seizure while we were in Florida and his inevitable mortality sort of hit home.

Elian is a boy who love, love, loves dogs. And he love, love, loves to get his face in Norman's face all day long, grab his head and give him hugs and try to get him riled up for a game of tug-a-war. In response, Norman usually retreats to the upstairs bed as if to say, "Nice try, kid." He's also super careful around Elian; he's afraid to take the other end of the toy -- out of fear of hurting Elian I imagine. We can have an intense game of tug-a-war going, I'll hand the tug toy to Elian and Norman will just drop it. I feel bad for Norman. But mostly I feel bad for Elian. Here he is uber-dog-lover who wants to constantly play with a dog and he has a dog who doesn't even want to play with him.

Over the course of a few months, I've been emailing potential dogs to Ed, and ladies and gentlemen, I successfully wore the man down. Again, I hadn't been very excited about the puppy idea, but I also felt like for Elian to truly feel like the dog was his, the dog would have to be pretty young.

We made the two-hour trip to the Brainerd shelter bringing Norman along for the introduction. If it didn't go well, I was prepared to go home puppyless. We also didn't want to build Elian's expectations. He had no idea we were even considering getting him a puppy, so I wove a tale about how we would visit this "place" where we could pet puppies much like we pet the kitty cats at Petsmart and Norman could have a chance to meet a puppy too! There was no mention of the possibility of bringing said puppy home. And he bought every word of it. He never even questioned why we'd have to drive two hours to pet puppies.

We called to make sure she hadn't been adopted before we left. Since the hours were 11-2, with a two-hour drive, it didn't give us a lot of time. We arrived there 15 minutes before close. Ed and Elian waited out in the lobby with Norman while I went into the kennel area with my blinders on to the other dogs out of fear I'd want to adopt all of them (there were a lot). I walked past several cages with people standing in front of them, worried that someone was in the process of adopting her or taking her out to meet her. Luckily, no one was in front of her cage. As soon as I approached it, she pounced to the door, tail wagging like her life depended on it (and I guess in some sense it could have). And it was love at first sight.

We brought her out to the lobby and happily Norman did not want to eat her! And Elian and Ed fell in love as quickly as I did. That's it, a few papers signed, an adoption fee and bada bing bada boom she's home with us. And I wish I could show you what I see from my computer right now. I'll give you a hint, it's totally cute.

the beauty of legos

For Christmas Elian got a very large Duplo Lego set complete with balls and tubes from Ed's sister. It's perfect for him. Only problem is he gets way too attached to the things he builds.

He's been in sort of baby-playground building stage where he creates these elaborate playgrounds with tube slides, teeter-totters and climbing equipment for "babies" and wants to leave them up for weeks on end. They take up about a third of our rug in the TV room, so you can imagine my delight. I keep trying to explain to him the beauty of Legos. How you build something, take it apart, only to build something much cooler the next time. But he's not buying it.

Our current baby playground has been around for about three weeks now. Funny thing is, when his friend Solveig came over for a playdate the other date, she was immediately drawn to the baby playground. They played with it for a good 20 minutes which is like four hours in adult attention-span. A few days later, it sat and sadly no babies were playing at the playground. I asked him if I could put away and it was met with resistance to put it mildly. So there it sits. The baby playground.

my sneaky valentine

As soon as I enter the house after walking Norman, Elian says:

"Tonight Papa and I are going to Home Depot to get some birdseed and Petsmart to get puppy some food (long pause -- as long as he could contain himself). But we're NOT going to Patina."

another hernandez family music video for your enjoyment

Afton Apple Orchard from ehernandez on Vimeo.

quote of the day

Today I picked up a little tray of sushi from the co-op. When I picked the little dude up from pre-school, I told him I bought some sushi we could share. He said he wanted his own tray. I'm not one to indulge him that easily, but I thought about how much sushi I would get if we shared and I like me my sushi, so we went to the co-op to get him his own sushi. When we came home, we had this exchange:

MAMA: Buddy, I'm glad you like sushi.

ELIAN: Why?

MAMA: Well, it's nice that we can eat it together. Papa doesn't like sushi?

ELIAN: What's not to like about sushi? He's weird.

luckiest. mama. ever.

I snuck outside to sort the recycling. When I came back inside, the little man handed me this. Guess how long I'll be keeping it. That's right, forever. FOREVER!

a song in his heart

quote of the day

ELIAN: Are guests coming over, Mama?

MAMA: No. Why?

ELIAN: Why are you sweeping?

quote of the day

Actually today, there were two quotes of the day. First, I bring you the naughty quote:

ELIAN:
(In a fit of anger after an ugly game of Blokus) "Idon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapa"

And now for the funny one:

"I'm looking at you lovingly because I want you to get off my fish pillow."