another hernandez family music video for your enjoyment

Afton Apple Orchard from ehernandez on Vimeo.

quote of the day

Today I picked up a little tray of sushi from the co-op. When I picked the little dude up from pre-school, I told him I bought some sushi we could share. He said he wanted his own tray. I'm not one to indulge him that easily, but I thought about how much sushi I would get if we shared and I like me my sushi, so we went to the co-op to get him his own sushi. When we came home, we had this exchange:

MAMA: Buddy, I'm glad you like sushi.

ELIAN: Why?

MAMA: Well, it's nice that we can eat it together. Papa doesn't like sushi?

ELIAN: What's not to like about sushi? He's weird.

luckiest. mama. ever.

I snuck outside to sort the recycling. When I came back inside, the little man handed me this. Guess how long I'll be keeping it. That's right, forever. FOREVER!

a song in his heart

quote of the day

ELIAN: Are guests coming over, Mama?

MAMA: No. Why?

ELIAN: Why are you sweeping?

quote of the day

Actually today, there were two quotes of the day. First, I bring you the naughty quote:

ELIAN:
(In a fit of anger after an ugly game of Blokus) "Idon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapaIdon'tlikepapa"

And now for the funny one:

"I'm looking at you lovingly because I want you to get off my fish pillow."

special delivery

I'm gonna require a signature for this one.

lollipop karma

I never blogged about our annual trip to the North Shore this year for a few reasons. One being that I wrote notes about the trip on the back of some work papers. When I finished that work, they wound up in the recycler. Oops. Secondly, the resident Hernan-dos photographer never flagged his favorite photos from the trip. He's all about the movie clips these days. Photos are so yesterday. Anyway, I get overwhelmed looking at all the photos. Give me the cliff notes, baby!

Anywho, there were a few little funny things that I wanted to write down before I forgot them entirely:

1. When we went to Betty's Pies, in the lobby they had a couple little boxes collecting money for various charities. They also were selling big delicious lollipops. Elian asked if he could get one of the lollipops and Ed told him he would give him a dollar. He could decide if it should go to a hungry child or if he should use it to buy a lollipop for himself. Cruel, I know. See what I have to live with? But guess what my sweet-toothed-lollipop-crazed little man picked? He chose to give his dollar to the hungry children! Talk about a proud Mama moment. IN YOUR FACE YOU PEOPLE WHO SAY ONLY CHILDREN DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHARE! As a reward, Ed bought him two lollipops.

2. Then there was the trip we took to the Portland Malt shop. Or should I say ONE of the trips we took to the Portland Malt shop. When the girl at the window asked Elian what kind of ice cream he wanted, he responded, "Chocolate with a layer of chocolate on it." When she told him they didn't have dipped cones, he asked for sprinkles. Strike two, no sprinkles. But that didn't keep him down. He was going to get extra sugar one way or another. He started panning the back of the ice cream stand. That's when he spotted some spray whipped cream and said, "I see you have some of that!"

3. And finally, when we were taking a little hike around Gooseberry Falls, we came upon this thin ledge that jutted out with trees growing out the top of it. When Elian saw it, he said, "It looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book!" and it truly did.

quote of the day

MAMA: What do you want in your lunch tomorrow buddy, alphabet soup or peanut butter and honey?

ELIAN: Peanut butter and honey. And maybe some apples...(recalling the signs we saw when we went apple picking) maybe some Connel Reds...maybe some Sweet Sixteens...maybe some Do Not Picks...

quote of the day

Yesterday, Ed had the day off work (hooray, Christopher Columbus!). Elian had his Monday morning daycare, so Ed and I had a romantic shopping spree date at Target and REI followed by lunch at Good Earth. We had to sort of rush through the lunch part so we could pick up the little man in time, so there was no dessert (gasp!). Ed suggested we make up for it with a trip to Cafe Latte after picking the boy up. And who was I to argue? Just take one look here and you'll know why.

We took our mammoth-sized dessert selections (chocolate chocolate cake and some sort of berry crumble if you must know) and sat down. There was a dude sitting nearby with some funky cheetah-spots dyed in his hair. I said to Elian, "Hey, buddy, look at that guys hair, he looks like a leopard."

He looks around and looks around.

I point. "Over there, buddy!"

He looks around and looks around. I can tell he can't see what I'm talking about. And proving my point he says, "Oh yeah, he does look like a leprechaun!"

rain man

Every once in a while, the little man freaks my freak. Like the other day. We were playing this golf game (surprise, surprise), seeing who could hit the golf ball closest to a block. Sometimes there would be an argument about who was closest. That's when he would pull out his measuring tape to confirm the results. One time, after one of us hit the ball, he said right away without grabbing the measuring tape, "That's about 32 inches." I measured to see for myself. It was 32 inches. Exactly.

Then today, we were enjoying a little quiet time. He was doing his thing, I was doing mine. After about a half hour, he was done. He came over to me and looked at the remaining pages of my book and said,
"Is that what you just read?"
"No," (fanning pages) "This is what I read during our quiet time."
"So 28 pages, right?"
"I don't know, maybe it's about 28 pages."
"Let's count."
"Well, I don't really need to count, I can just look at the page number where I started and then look at the page number where I ended and subtract." (Subtracting 380 from 408.) "Yep, it's 28 pages, Rain Man."

another wii-kend

The little man and I spent the past weekend at Grandma and Grandpa Schulz's in Racine. It was a great trip filled with fun: a pool table, a pizza party with the aunts, uncles and cousins, grandma's marble run, miniature golfing and last but not least, cousin Chloe's Wii. The little man got some quality Wii time in while at Grandma and Grandpa's. He's still blathering on about Shay-Shay Lake or some such track I have no idea what he's talking about.

This morning, I drove him to preschool because it was raining and I couldn't find our second umbrella. As I was buckling him into his car seat, I reminded him that he has a cold and he needs to cover his mouth when he coughs -- especially at school. I said something like, "You should just keep practicing that so you do it automatically." Still in Mario-Kart-Wii-mode, he responded, "Not manually."

nice kids. nice music.

Apparently Ed doesn't have enough to do what with a presentation tomorrow and staying up until 5 a.m. to get things ready for that. He had time to sneak this lovely video in.

ECFE Picnic 2009 from ehernandez on Vimeo.

papa and mini-papa

Why is it so cute when a dad and his son dress alike? But if I did it, it would just be plain weird. (Note matching converse high-tops compliments of Grandma Johnson since Ed insisted he and his father have the same pair of shoes when he was about the same age as Elian.)

You really have to see their routines when Ed plays Elian and Elian plays Ed. It's true performance art.

how i spent my summer

golthhh fever

The little man is super-crazy about golf, or "golth" as he calls it (because when he's feeling lazy, he still pronounces his final fs as "th"). To illustrate what I'm talking about, here is a snapshot of our day:

This morning: Played some putt-putt golf at the course next to our house. I figured it was the last weekend they'd be open, so I wanted to give him his last shot at a hole-in-one. No luck. But he'll get another chance because it turns out they're going to be open through September. Hooray! (I think).

This afternoon: A little PGA tour viewing on TV. The little dude has learned that Sunday means golf on TV. And thanks to Grandpa Schulz, Sunday also means Tiger Woods will be wearing his Sunday Red shirt. The other day, he told me he wanted a Tiger Woods shirt. When I asked him if that meant a shirt like Tiger wears when he plays golf, or a T-shirt with Tiger on it, he told me the latter. A quick google search was unsuccessful, but I did find this that left him mildly amused:



After about a half hour of TV golf viewing, he wanted to hit golf balls at the park. This has become almost a daily ritual for us lately. Either he hits a bucket of balls with his real golf club. Or he uses his "future champion" (toy-ish) set to hit practice foam balls to a hole that he sets across the field.

The other day he told me he wanted to be a professional golfer when he grew up. And given his dedication and ability to focus on the game for what seems like a long time for a four year-old, I wouldn't be surprised if he got pretty good. Then again, given his stubbornness and ability to take direction and "tips" that he seems to have inherited from his mother, maybe not. But he did say, that if he ever got to play golf on TV like Tiger Woods, I could be his caddy. So I've got that going for me.

So you wanna see his new hero?



Guess who wanted to drive a line of golf balls in the backyard?

skip this if you don't enjoy political commentary

What he said.

*****

A lot of the online games Elian plays on the computer are rated on a scale from one to five stars. Because of this, he has recently become increasingly interested in the star rating system. So much so that he chooses to rate many elements of his life: his teachers, his friends, his cousins and yes, his Mama and Papa (we're SIXES, baby! Woohoo!). He is very scientific about the rating and will often explain why someone might get fewer than five stars. This explanation is often very humorous (probably not for the person who does not receive the five-star rating).

Every night the "good-nighter" (the person who does not do the bathing and the book reading but comes up after and says goodnight) gets to play a game with his dogs Friday and Romeo. This game could be baseball, it could be miniature golf, it could be "real" golf or it could be a game of huckle-buckle-beanstalk (don't tell me you don't know what that is!). I happen to be the good-nighter on my birthday. So I came up to his room, all ready to get Friday, my dog for the game. Elian always takes Romeo and Ed or I get Friday because, you see, Friday's a little rude (a blog entry in itself). But not this time. No, this time instead he hands me Romeo and says, "Here Mama, you can have the five-star dog because it's your birthday."

catty II

My sister-in-law Shannon is the queen of caterpillars. In the summertime, you can always count on them having a monarch caterpillar or two that they house until it becomes a beautiful butterfly. She's even raised some since the egg stage. I KNOW! She's like the Steve Irwin of caterpillars.

Now that Elian is at an age to appreciate the metamorphosis of creatures, I thought I'd try my hand at some caterpillar care. Our first caterpillar, "Catty" we called him, er, or her, I found crawling on my niece Chloe when we were at Minnehaha Falls. After some quick research, Ed found out that it ate oak leaves and that it would turn into not a beautiful butterfly, but a common moth (insert Debbie Downer sound effect). Still, we took care of that little guy like he was the family pet. It was very exciting when he started to make his cocoon (that looked more like a spider web to me). He stayed in that cocoon for months before I decided he wasn't coming out.

So a week or so ago, Elian and I were in the front garden when we spotted this little guy:


Do I dare try my hand at caterpillar care? I thought. But Elian was super excited. Maybe THIS one will turn into a beautiful butterfly. But after some quick research we learned, no, not this one. This one turns into another moth. A tiger moth (sounds fierce!) But Elian insisted we keep it. So I scraped Catty's crusty old cocoon out and we rinsed out the bug cage.

It's been about two weeks and I'm happy to report that Catty II is still alive and well. We had a close call about an hour ago when I was cleaning out his cage and giving him his daily dandelion and plantain salad (Do you know how much caterpillars poop? Who'da thought?) when Catty II fell out the hole and into the garbage. I fished around in the wet coffee grounds and god knows what else for a good five minutes before I found him. I almost gave up because the garbage was a little gross but I couldn't bring myself to have to tell Elian, "Mama accidentally dumped Catty II in the garbage..." The poor fuzzy little guy. I think he's okay, but he's probably got a pretty good caffeine buzz.

in which she gains not just another year but also 15 pounds

My friend Amy is the best. She sent me not one, but TWO dozen scrumptious and beautiful mini cupcakes for my birthday. Not only that, but when she was giving me the heads up about it over the phone. I mistakingly repeated back the word, "Delivery?" and the little dude heard it.

He has been quite obsessed with the UPS truck lately. Whenever we see it around town, he traces it with his eyes, following its next turn to see if it's headed toward our house with a possible delivery for him. After which I explain that it's not his birthday or Christmas so probably he won't be receiving anything via UPS anytime soon.

Well, Amy overheard his pathetic over-anticipation of this mysterious delivery (and how he thought it might be for him). So she felt she couldn't disappoint. So yesterday, not only did we receive the two dozen amazing cupcakes (plus four French macaroon cookies), but Elian got a perfect little waterfally sand toy for his new sand box (to be featured in a later post once the resident Hernan-dos photographer completes his photo series of our backyard project). The little man was beside himself when the UPS truck pulled up in front of our house. He nervously paced back and forth and ran to the door to peek through the window. If only I had captured it on video.

So before the arrival of the cupcakes, Ed promised Elian that they would make a cake together for my birthday. Do you think that two dozen cupcakes are going to deter the boy from baking me a cake (well, not one of the boys)? I explained to him this morning that with all the cupcakes, maybe he and Papa don't need to make me a cake. Shame on me. "Mama, you NEED a cake" (thankfully, he got Grandma Schulz's birthday-cake genes). We then decided that you could never have too much cake, so they plan to make it this afternoon. And I plan to eat it.

quote of the day

The other night the little man was having trouble falling asleep. I had been up there a few times. On one of the occasions there was this exchange:

MAMA: (Leaning over bed) Just close your eyes and think about things that make you happy...

ELIAN: (Reaches up and grabs one of my breasts) Like Mama's boobies...




Jeeeeesh, like father like son.

dear norman

Is it not enough that you've pee-killed three of our brand new plants in the backyard? Now you have to claim the boy's new sandbox as your bed?

And don't think I didn't see you when you lifted your head from Papa's brand-new pillow. We know it's comfortable, that's why we purchased THREE of them from the hotel. None of which was intended for you. BUT DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU.

It's too bad your life is so hard.

Love,
Mama

get up, stand up

Last night, when Elian and I were heading downtown to pick up Papa, Bob Marley's "Get Up, Stand Up" was on the radio. I don't think the little man had ever heard that song before but judging by his unusual silence, I knew he was listening. When the song was over he made a request, "Mama, can you put my CD on?"

Later that night, when I was putting him to bed entirely too late because of our picnic festivities, he didn't want to get out of bed to brush his teeth. "I'm tooooooo TYYYYYYYYYYYYRED," he said. I said, "Get up, buddy, we have to brush your teeth." I could see the lightbulb go on in his curly-locked head as he replied in perfect Bob Marley rhythm, "Get up, stand up..."

another year, another picnic

A few shots from our picnic last night. My, how they've all grown since last year.

enter the can-can phase

(This one goes out to Monkey who insisted he reads Hernan-dos and wants me to get off my lazy ass and resume the account of our boy.)

So a while back Ed's parents brought our nephew Thurston for a visit. I can't remember how old Thurston is, but he is a few years older than Elian. Maybe 8?

Anyway, we were all sitting around the house chatting. All except Thurston who had tons of energy that needed releasing. As a result he was jumping around the house doing the can-can and singing the music. Ed and I looked on in horror. Thank God, OUR son doesn't have that kind of energy we thought.

Well, recently Elian has proven us wrong. He DOES have that kind of energy. And then some. One day he was exerting the energy doing some sort of crazy song. Maybe he was singing one of the songs from the Songs of Music but in mock-Chinese. Ed looked over to me and said, "I think we've officially entered the Can-Can stage."

I'm not sure why I've been in such a blog rut. Maybe I can blame it on the summer fun and not wanting to sit down in front of the computer. Or maybe it's because Elian has been doing just too many funny things lately that I can no longer keep up with them. But after hearing from my reader, I'm going to try to make more of an effort to get this started again.

too bad he's so shy

Given my shy and/or anti-social nature, sometimes I'm amazed at how social the little man can be. I can almost always count on him to strike up a conversation with the cashier when we're shopping. He usually opens with, "Hi, my name's Elian!"

Yesterday we were at the park. He was climbing on this structure with a little girl. The little girl's mother was nearby and Elian said, "Mama, can I tell her something?" Not sure if he was talking about the little girl or the mother, and not sure what exactly he wanted to tell her, I hesitated and answered, "Sure." Here's what happened next:

ELIAN: (talking to the mom) Hey, I want to tell you something!

ME: (Getting a wee bit nervous about what's to come.)

THE MOM: Okay.

ELIAN: One time when I got THREE rubber balls when I put a quarter in a rubber-ball machine.

THE MOM: Wow, that sounds like it was a lucky day.

ELIAN: Yeah, and I even got some ICE CREAM!

ME: (Wiping my brow on the inside.)


The miracle of the three rubber balls happened about a month or so ago when Elian and I took the car to get an oil change. The place had given us a coupon for a free ice cream across the street. So we went and got one while we waited. I'm not sure if he had been thinking about that while he was climbing on the structure and just had to tell someone. Or, if he just had to tell this woman something and that's the first thing he thought of. Whatever. It was funny.

if our house exploded

quote of the day

MAMA: Buddy, what do you want for breakfast this morning.

ELIAN: (Long pause with devilish grin on face) I know... APPLE PIE!

rejection

how i spent my memorial day weekend

(The latest addition to the recent prolific film work by the husband.)

Lilah's 9th Birthday from ehernandez on Vimeo.

cheeto punctuation

Enough said.

how can something wrong feel so right

Ed and Elian have been out of town since Thursday, while Norman and I have been holding down the fort.

As guilty as I feel for saying this, it's been awesome. As much as I love my boys, I love my alone time. And their time away has let me get a lot of things done that I've been putting off for a long time. Stupid things like putting bags of hand-me-down clothes away that I keep tripping over every time I go into the little man's closet; getting rid of stupid little toys that I know he won't miss (crossing fingers) -- actually they're in a "holding pattern" just in case; and finally washing the covers for our comfy-room chair and giving the chair a good vacuum. I know that doesn't seem very exciting but it is a huge load off my shoulders to get crap like that done.

Don't get me wrong, I've been having some nice rest and relaxation too. Friday night I rented Mama Mia which while it was a happy, nice movie, it was a little too much singing and forced-in Abba songs for my taste. It was fun seeing Meryl Streep in that kind of role though. Looked like she was having a blast. I paused Mama Mia to watch the Farrah Story. Nothing like pausing a happy movie to ball your eyes out and then restarting the happy movie again. Hello? Emotional roller-coaster?!?

Saturday morning I cashed in one of the two gift certificates I got from my boys for a hot stone massage. Wow. I have to say it was one of the most painful massages I've ever received, but in a good way. The massage therapist was so busy working out my knots that I think he forgot about the relaxing hot-stone part. But it was awesome. Last night I had some friends over for drinks and snacks. Then, this morning I took Norman for a long walk. It is a beautiful sunny day, all the trees are in bloom and my iPod on shuffle seemed to be playing all the perfect songs.

The boys come home in about an hour and I can't wait to see them. My only regret is that I haven't hit any of the Art-a-Whirl events happening in our neighborhood. I searched a good half hour for the trolley route online and couldn't find it. Maybe I can convince the boys to visit a studio or two when they get home. Yeah, I'm sure that's what they'll want to do after being in the car for five hours.

a special message for mama

A special message for Mama. from ehernandez on Vimeo.

if he keeps this up, i'm going to expect a video a month

May Day Parade from ehernandez on Vimeo.

quote of the day

We were eating at restaurant. Ed and Elian went to the bathroom. Before washing hands, Ed had this exchange with Elian:

PAPA: Now don't put your mouth on the sink.

ELIAN: I know, I know. Swine flu.

ham states

The little man has become increasingly interested in US geography. One of his favorite games to play is Mama-Doesn't-Know-Where-the-States-Are in which Mama misplaces the states in the giant US floor puzzle and he teaches me where they actually go. Needless to say, he's gotten pretty good at knowing where states go and recognizing the shapes of states. I might go so far to say that the kid is better at geography at four than I was at 15.

The other day Ed gives him a side of ham with his oatmeal and cuts it up for him. He eats all but leaves two pieces on his plate: Minnesota and Oregon.

it's the shoes

Chalk this one up there as something I never thought I'd do until I had a child. Along with eat at NBA City, watch a NASCAR race (and enjoy it) and say the words, "Do you want me to TIVO Barney for you?"

About 85% of the boy's clothing is hand-me-downs. It's not often I get to or have to buy anything for him, including footwear. But he was desperate for a pair of tennies. He had two pair of Merrrel hand-me-downs which were fine for running amuck in. But with the weather warming up, he needed something a little more tennis-shoe-y. And I had totally been striking out. Whenever I'd find him a pair I liked, I would bring it home and it wouldn't fit him. I was tired of making trips to buy and return shoes. So I decided he needed to come with me.

Friday we went to Famous Footwear who happened to be having a Buy-one-get-the-second-pair-half-off price. Immediately I spotted the shoes I wanted him to have:




And moments later, he spotted the ones he wanted to have:


Did I mention they light up?

You should've seen the smile spread across his face when I told him to try them on. We slipped them on his feet and he bolted around the store like he had just discovered his legs. The whole time checking out the sides of his feet to watch the lights blink. The boy who never thought twice about shoes, suddenly looked like his whole world was ten times brighter with Lightning McQueen on his feet. Still, there was this look on his face that said, "Mama's never going to let me get these." And honestly, I really didn't want him to get them. They are, how-shall-we-say BUTT UGLY. And they LIGHT UP!! Not to mention my disdain for the fact that they have to slap a licensed character on everything for kids these days. But I knew I was going to buy them for him the moment we saw them. Elian had eyed a pair of light-up shoes before and Ed had given me a hard time when my explanation as to why I didn't buy them was something to the effect of, "Over my dead body." Edpointed out that the only chance he'll have to wear stupid shoes like this that light up is when he's a kid.

But it wasn't Ed's guilt trip that made me cave. It was how my little boy looked when he tried these shoes on. How he thought they were just the coolest thing ever but not once did he ask me if he could have them. In fact, he rarely asks for things and when he does he completely gets it when we tell him no. So I guess I thought of this as his reward. When I told him he could get them, there was a look of disbelief on his face, "Really, Mama?!?" To which I replied, "Yes, but we're getting the Chuck Taylors too." (Though I'm not completely convinced these fit him and I may be returning them soon.)

He wore the Lightning McQueen shoes out of the store, watching his feet the entire time. When we got home, he was so excited to show Papa his new shoes and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Look what Mama let me get!" And secretly, Ed and I both knew that Ed was the one who convinced me that it was okay for my boy to have stupid light-up shoes. But he didn't say a word and let me be the hero. Thank you, Papa. And that night, the boy who previously didn't think twice about shoes, slept right next to the most hideous shoes known to man and he was happy. I guess this might be how my mom and dad felt when I picked out my blue cat-eye glasses.

five-alarm post

Elian's friend Lila's dad is a celebrity. He's a fire fighter. And Saturday he gave us a tour of the fire station.

Behold.

another special video by the lovely and talented papa

(Someone's getting all Cecil B. Demille-y on me.)


A Trip to Dairy Queen from Ed Hernandez on Vimeo.

happiness

with backyard paper airplanes.

happy birthday, lempi!

Saturday was our dear pal Lempi's 95th birthday. Yes, that's 95 with a nine and a five. Since we were going out of town for Easter, we stopped by on Thursday to wish her a happy birthday.

Lempi is known for her fabulous pies and is well-loved by all the neighbors. On Valentine's Day a while back, she gave me a pie-making lesson. Banana cream. I think I've got the filling part down but haven't quite mastered her crust which uses real, honest-to-goodness lard of course. Mmm, lard.

Lempi has hung up her apron and hasn't baked in the past two years or so. She's still her same happy healthy self but doesn't remember so well anymore. When I see her, I get the sense that she knows she knows me and knows Ed as the guy who shovels her walk, she's just not sure exactly who we are at first. So I often bring up Elian's name and reminisce about the pie lesson. This usually works to jog her memory.

She loves Elian. She used to give him random tennis balls she would find in her yard. And on a couple of occasions, Lempi and Elian rolled the ball back and forth and he impressed her with his summersaults in her tiny front room and that is one memory she likes to bring up whenever she sees him.

This visit, Lempi was in the mood to sing. Although she couldn't quite remember the songs she liked, she kept coming back to "You take the high road and I take the low road." We got Elian to sing happy birthday to her in Spanish. And Ed broke out into a rousing rendition of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean." When she told us how much our birthday visit meant to her, tears came to her eyes. I only hope I can be as full as life when I am 95. Hell, who am I kidding, when I'm 60.

a small adventure (remix)

A Small Adventure (Remixed) from Ed Hernandez on Vimeo.

a special little video by papa

A Small Adventure from Ed Hernandez on Vimeo.

3D dog

FURY!

Okay, this doesn't quite capture the speed at which Norman travels to get across the field to Ed, Elian and Duncan. Today he got tripped up because they were standing so still and not making any noise that he couldn't spot them. I kept telling him to "Go get your Papa!" but he couldn't see where they were. Then Duncan runs out all like, "Dude, we're over here!" and then he sort of gets in the way and slows down the charge to Ed.

We'll try again tomorrow. Until then, look for the tiny black spot off in the distance.

quote of the day

(Calling from bathroom.)

"Mama, my poop is shaped like Vermont!"

a most awesome weekend

Oooowiee, what a nice weekend.

The highly-anticipated Duncan dropoff happened Thursday night just as the little man was going to bed. Elian loves Duncan. No, really. He LOVES Duncan. As do we. He's the most awesome dog ever (next to Norman). I've talked about him here. And here . And here. And who could forget here. When Elian found out Duncan was staying with us, he couldn't wait. He started counting down the days. And then Ed promised him he could camp out with Duncan on the floor which only heightened the anticipation.

Since Duncan is a senior citizen, we didn't want him climbing the stairs unnecessarily so we all camped out downstairs for the night Friday. I didn't quite make it the whole night. There's something about sleeping in the same room as Elian that keeps me awake all night -- that and maybe Duncan's sudden crazy breathing attacks. But the boy was in heaven curled up in his sleeping bag next to the dogs. Squirming his way to the hard-wood floor to clunk his head.





Saturday a friend invited us to go swimming at the swanky Minneapolis Club. Ed was the Man Who Got Things Done™ this weekend and installed the second ceiling fan we bought while the boy and I went for a swim. Elian has gotten a little braver in the water and made it across the pool several times on his own (with water wings). I'm contemplating a season pass for the water park near our house.

Today we took Elian to see his very first movie in a theater: Under the Sea Imax 3D! We took the wider seats they had at the center of the theater so Elian and I got to share a seat. It was hard not to watch him the entire time. While he reached out to grab for a fish that swam by, I thought he was going to hit the guy's head in front of him. As some of the sea creatures hunted their prey, I could feel his body tense up beside me. It was a fantastic first-movie experience for him that I will never forget and I have a feeling he won't either.

We've also been spending some time at the park with the dogs. Since Duncan has a little trouble with longer walks, I've been taking Norman and then meeting Ed and Elian back at the park where they let Duncan romp around and get his fill of sniffing. As soon as Norman spots them, I unhook his leash and he runs at them full speed. I'm going to try to get Ed to capture it on video from his perspective because it's pretty funny.

Okay, I think those were the highlights. Oh yeah, and I friended Mom on Facebook. Who knew she was on Facebook? Next thing you know she'll be poking me.

quote of the day

(Calling downstairs from his bed.)

ELIAN: Papa, is "V" in the alphabet?

PAPA: What?

ELIAN: Is "V" in the alphabet?

PAPA: Like in violin?

ELIAN: Yes.

PAPA: Yeah, it's in the alphabet.

ELIAN: But watch. A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V...Oh.

fortunes

The other night Ed picked up some delicious curry-to-go from True Thai. They popped a couple fortune cookies in the bag which were then given to Elian. Here are the fortunes which I don't think could be more perfect for him:

You have an active mind and a keen imagination.

You are kind-hearted, hospitable, cheerful and well-liked.




And now that I've blogged about them, I can finally throw them away.

quote of the day

(Getting dressed in the locker room after swimming. I put on my canvas and rubber sneakers from Target.)

ELIAN: Mama, are those pretty shoes?

MAMA: Um, I don't know, what do you think?

ELIAN: Yes.


(Starting to re-evaluate the feelings I had those times when he said, "Mama, you look pretty.")

quote of the day

(After viewing some of the layouts Papa had been working on at home.)

"Papa, you're going to turn into a Hormel!"

joke of the day

ELIAN: Why did the man kiss the cans?

PAPA: I don't know. Why did the man kiss the cans?

ELIAN: Because he wanted to get some mans. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Ah, nothing beats four year-old humor. Just be thankful it wasn't a poop joke.

quote of the day

"What if I had like 300 pee pees. One coming out of my belly-button...one coming out of my side..."

brotherly love

a story as relayed by ed

A few weeks or months ago (I can't be trusted to keep track of time frames), Elian asked Ed how the steering wheel worked to steer the car. Ed explained it in most basic terms but when Elian asked how it attached to the wheels, Ed fell short of an explanation and said, "I'm really not quite sure how it's attached."

Fast forward to today. Elian goes to the bathroom and neglects to wash his hands afterwards. Ed says, "Hey Buddy, can you wash your hands?" And Elian asks, "How did you know I didn't wash my hands?" And Ed replies, "I know EVERYTHING..."

And Senior Smartypants says, "No, you don't. You don't know how the steering wheel works."

quote of the day

ELIAN: (Looking at our dinner plates, then looking at his.) Mama, why didn't you give me any salad?

MAMA: Because you have vegetables and when I give you salad, you don't eat very much of it.

ELIAN: Okay, that makes sense!

what will puppy bring?

Whenever we return to the house after being gone, Norman will always bring us one of his toys when he meets us at the door. He has a pretty extensive toy collection that we keep in a basket on the floor. He'll come to the door, tail wagging, then race back to his toy box digging just for the perfect toy and bring it back to us all in a matter of seconds.

Even before Elian was born, Ed and I played a game called, "What Will Puppy Bring?" On our way home, we would each make a prediction about what toy Norman would bring to us when we got home. Some of the choices include: zebra tail, green bone, fuzzy man, barbell tennis ball, squirrel, and black and blue bone and blue santa dog just to name a few.

When Elian entered the picture, the game got a little more elaborate. Now we play it opera style. And not only do you have to guess what puppy is going to bring it, but you have to make your proclamation at the top of your lungs, opera style in the car. And don't even think of interrupting Elian when he's holding a note. Some of Papa's performances build to the crescendo as we make our way out the garage door and I'm sure the neighbors question the bellowing operatic voice singing, "BLACK AND BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEE BONE!"

Elian is very amused by Papa's operatic stylings and has gotten quite good at them himself, using arm and hand movements to add drama to his voice. The other day we were shopping at Super Target and I forget what Elian wanted to look at, buy or comment about, but he did so singing it at the top of his lungs in opera style. If you ever want to get noticed in Super Target, try pushing a four-year-old singing opera around in a shopping cart.

profitable walks

In the past year or so, I have made almost $100 walking Norman.

On one occasion a while back, I found three $20 bills rolled up in the street. Another time, a single $20. And on two separate occasions, a single dollar. Then just the other day, Elian and I took Norman for a walk. We stopped at the playground so Elian could climb around a bit. We were getting ready to leave when he said, "Look, Mama" and pointed at some bills spread out in the snow. One five and three singles.

Usually when I come across free money like this, I throw it into Elian's college fund (aka: the giant glass jar we collect our change in). But since this find was his, I told him he could do whatever he wanted with it. He goes back and forth with wanting to save it and wanting to spend it on another HABA marble run piece. I had to break it to him that he would have to save a bit more before he could buy one HABA marble run piece since they start at about $20 each.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen that $8 since I put it on his pool table.

just keep swimming, swimming, swimming

This weekend Ed's sister Laura came into town with her boys. There was a visit to the science museum, car racing, swimming and a lot of boyish shenanigans. To say that Elian had fun would be a great understatement. I think the reality of their departure hasn't quite sunk in as there have been no tears yet. I'd include a shot of all of the boys together, but apparently I'm unable to take a photo that isn't horrifically blurry and my photographically gifted husband is no help whatsoever.

testing 1,2,3

I'm proud to say the little man has passed his pre-kindergarten screening with flying colors. And as he emerged from the room with the tester, the tester approached me and said, "He wanted me to tell you that he is very smart."

too much choice = paralysis (got 20 minutes?)

Came across this on TED talks. Lots of interesting talks there but this one struck me as exceptionally interesting. I'm the world's worse decision makers when it comes to buying things, and well, everything. I think this dude makes some excellent points. I think I would do a lot better in a country where choices are more limited. And maybe where I had to wear a uniform every day.

the future album cover

big fat faker

On walks in the past, Norman used to lunge at unsuspecting bikers and joggers who would pass us. There was also some alpha-dog attitude that put him in fighting mode when we would come across certain dogs (or people). Walks could get a little stressful. So a while back I began implementing a "positive behavior modification system." In other words, whenever we would come across another dog, I'd feed him a tasty bit of cookie or kibble. Same goes for people passing us by or anything else that would distract him and turn him into Cujo.

You can probably see where this is going.

Now, whenever he sees a dog or person walking, even if it's several blocks away, he looks to me for a tasty treat. Hell, whenever we walk about one block, he looks to me for a tasty treat, pushing my hand with his nose and boring into my soul with his dark brown pathetic eyes.

In the winter time, he often gets pieces of salt stuck between the pads of his feet. He will hold his paw up until I clean it out. In the past, I've given him treats for this because it makes it a lot easier to fix the problem when he shows me where it is rather than me watching him limp a while before figuring out which paw is affected. Hmmm, cookie after hurt paw? Duly noted, he thinks.

Since then, there have been several instances when he has "hurt" his paw on the exact same block in front of the exact same house. And today, I swear to God, he started limping, showed me a paw and then SWITCHED PAWS looking up at me as if to say, "Do I get a cookie for this, woman, or what?"

Too bad there are no Academy Awards for dogs.

it's no pbs

We've been lucky enough to be able to keep Elian from commercials with PBS. But now that we have our digital TV, we get a lot more channels. One of them is QUBO. It is here where Elian found his new favorite show: Turbo Dogs. I mean, what's not to love about dogs WHO RACE CARS!?!?!?

Elian didn't really know what to think about commercials at first. He seemed mildly amused by all the screaming and flashy colors like he had just been slapped in the face with a chunk of Jell-o. He usually would ask me to fast-forward through them. Until he saw the one where the kids do EXTREME tricks with slippery shoes on carpet. That's when I noticed his jaw begin to drop and the drool start to trickle from his mouth. And that's also when I explained to him that a lot of toys just aren't as cool as they make them look on TV. "Hell, your Papa can spend all day in Photoshop working on a piece of pork to make it look more delicious!"

Since Turbo Dogs is only on once a week and he just discovered it a little over a month ago, we don't have too many episodes in our arsenal. That doesn't really matter though because lately he pretty much just wants to watch the most recent episode until he gets a new one. Today we were watching it together when an ad for Mini Aqua Globes came on. And these ad people would've peed their pants had they heard what came out of my four year-old boy's mouth:

"I wish I had an Aqua Globe."

And I silently thought, "I wish you still liked Word World on PBS!"

quote of the day

I think Elian can tolerate pretty hot food for a little guy. Whenever Ed and I are eating something that I think will be too spicy for Elian, he always wants to try it, glass of milk at the ready. He's grown very interested in cayenne pepper and our family's love of spicy foods. And sometimes it seems like he's trying to prove to us that he's a big boy and can therefore eat spicy foods. I always tell him that it's okay if he just likes it a little spicy -- maybe he'll like it spicier when he gets older. The other day he said this:

"When I get older, maybe I can take a whole big jar of cayenne pepper and dump it in my mouth!"

quote of the day

"When I get older can I give YOU a bath?"

then there's this

another quote of the day

(We're at the doctor's office for the boy's 4-year well checkup, the doctor's making some notes in the computer.)

ELIAN: Do you have games on your computer?

DOCTOR: No, there aren't any games on here, do you play games? What games do you play?

ELIAN: I don't play. Sometimes I watch Mama play Burnin' Rubber.

MAMA: (Sheepishly) Um, it isn't as bad as it sounds...

quote of the day

(We're walking through the park on the way to pre-school and spot a some underpants and a sweater (nice).)

ELIAN: What's that??

MAMA: Looks like some lost their underwear and a sweater.

ELIAN: Somebody must have a cold bum!

this little piggy

Before Christmas, once in a while Elian would pretend that piglet from Winnie-the-Pooh was playing along with him. He'd give his invisible piglet a ride on the back tire of his bike. He'd carefully set him down on the game board when we played Sorry. And when I vacuumed, he'd stick him on top of the vacuum cleaner for a little ride.

One day he came home from preschool and mentioned that someone had brought a stuffed piglet in for show and tell. He said, "I think I'd like a stuffed piglet, Mama." Since his Ugli doll Target seemed to be the only object of his stuffed-animal affections, I was a little skeptical. But I thought, well, he likes Piglet, he talks about Piglet, and he PRETENDS to have a piglet, so what's another stuffed animal that he doesn't even look at.

I ordered the piglet shortly before Christmas. It hadn't arrived before we left town so I arranged a secret "Operation Piglet Placement" with the neighbor. She intercepted the box from our porch, and carefully placed it in Elian's stocking where it would be waiting for him when we got home -- along with the load from Santa. He took one look at the Piglet peeking out of his stocking and didn't seem very impressed.

But ever since then, Piglet has been sleeping in bed with him. And he even makes it downstairs with Target along with about five other stuffed dogs that have made their way into his bed. Somehow the addition of Piglet, along with a stuffed "Friday" from Hotel Dogs he got in a Happy Meal and a "Romeo" from his cousin Chloe, has unlocked the stuffed-animal sensibilities. Now he sleeps with about six dogs, piglet AND Target.

This photo was taken a few days after Christmas. Notice sad Target not getting any love -- let alone any blanket. Poor Target. I imagine he feels just like Woody did when Andy got Buzz Lightyear.

par-tay

It's fair to say I've really gotten my money's worth with this ball cake pan.










This will be year three of the ball table cloth too.