not-so shining moments in motherhood

I often wonder if my little boy is cautious and not-so daring because that's just the way he is, after all, I was a cautious and fearful child. And his Papa, well, let's just say he's not Captain Adventure. But sometimes I wonder if it's because I try to protect him from hurting himself. What came first? My protective behavior or his cautiousness? I will say one thing, if there's a way to fall down, he'll find it.

For the New Year, I sort of resolved to relax a bit and let him fall down a little. I told Ed that we should try not to stop him from doing things he wants to try. Then New Year's Day, he was doing a dive over the side of the couch and landed right on his head on the hardwood floor. That'll teach me.

But I wasn't going to let a nose-dive off the couch deter me. So yesterday when we went sledding and he asked if he could go down the small hill by himself, I thought, sure, why not? He did it by himself when we went sledding on Sunday and yesterday, we were the only ones there at the sled hill. The sled hill was our oyster. He went down a few times and all was well. But on one of the last runs down, I saw him heading straight for a wooden sign. Very fast. I screamed and bolted down the hill as fast as I could without wiping out myself but it was too late. He went head first into the sign. It seemed a lot worse at the time than the goose egg on the head lets on. I'm just so happy it was just a goose egg. A big ol' bruisy goose egg. He cried and cried, then asked, "Did my head split open?". It was awful. And the mother guilt ensued.

Stupid New Year's resolution.