quote of the day

(After spotting the soccer-ball cake pan in the cupboard.)

Mama, are you going to make me a soccer ball cake?

Yeah, maybe I can make you another one for your birthday...or a basketball!

RIGHT NOW!

Well, it's only September. Your birthday's not until January.

(5 minutes later.)

Mama, can we pretend it's January????

quote of the day: whutt-whoahhh

He asked me what college was. I told him it's where many people go to study what they want to be when they grow up. So then I asked him:

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A girl.

Hmmm, interesting.

Because then I can go potty and Mama can say, "Do you have a pee pee?"




Really, he does talk about different subject matter. Sometimes.

he fancies himself sophisticated

I always have to remind myself that my son is only two and a half. I think I imagine that he is far more sophisticated than he is. Sometimes when I read him a children's book, I expect him to react, "Please, don't insult me with this gibberish." Like the other night I was reading him this potty book I picked up from the library. I felt almost silly reading it to him. Like he couldn't believe I had picked out such idiotic juvenile reading material. Sometimes I imagine that he's giving me this look like, "what are you thinking?" I was almost surprised when he laughed out loud at the book and got excited that the main character's favorite color was blue "Just like Elian's!"

a tip for you

If you're ever driving and my son's in the car and he asks you if you saw something -- be it a tube, a slide, birds in a tree, what have you -- say yes. For the love of God, say yes.

Or you will pay.

a parental confession

Tonight I rigged a game of Candyland. To put an end to the longest god-forsaken game in the history of Candyland, I stacked the deck so that one small competitor would get the Princess Lollipop card, sending him clear across the board and very close to the rainbow finish line. Guess what? He won!

And so did I.

quote of the day

(While reading Henny Penny before nap, I got to the part where they introduce Turkey Lurkey.)

Turkey Lurkey? Does he eat Turkey?!?!?

I don't think so. If he's a turkey, he probably doesn't eat turkey.

(Pause. Blink. Blink.) Does he eat HIMSELF!?!?!?

Introducing, BOTM

You may recall a while back I announced a new Hernan-dos feature: Ball of the Week. Well, after sensing a lack of enthusiasm by my Official Ball Photographer, I was beginning to think it might not happen. I tried to spin it as a fun project, a photographic ball study if you will. But still, he didn't bite. There's nothing the husband enjoys more than my hair-brained schemes that involve more work on his part than my own. But what's this? A ball photo? And I didn't even have to nag. Much. So without further ado, I present the Ball of the Month (formerly Ball of the Week).

September's ball was purchased today by Papa. It's the second in the series of the boy's Halloween balls. When I asked Elian what he was going to call this one, without a moment's delay, he responded, "Boney." Boney allegedly glows in the dark but I'm thinking that was a lie. According to Elian, Boney bounces AND rolls. Ooooooh, look how spooky -- and boney.

the makings of a near-perfect weekend.

Usually for us, the best weekends are the ones that aren't planned. The fun things are decided last minute and everything just seems to fall into place. This was one of those weekends.

Here's what I'm talking about:
• A visit from out-of-town friends with lots of delicious Indian food and a banana-cream pie made by moi and my personal assistant (little e) featuring homemade pie crust made by Lempi.
• Breakfast at Elsie's where we felt young dining among the octogenarians and where little e got to witness "real, live" bowling as well as try his hand at pinball.
• Nobody had to work (until Sunday night)
• A nap on Saturday
• Dinner on a sidewalk overlooking the Mississippi with a great view of Elian's favorite star sign.
• Not one, but two St. Anthony Falls Heritage Trail walks over the Stone Arch Bridge and Hennepin bridges.


Here is my Minneapolis postcard shot.


See that sign with the star on it? That's elian's favorite sign. If you are ever driving downtown with him, he will make sure you see it.

"no i amn't"

Even when the little dude says things that are grammatically incorrect, they still make sense. Sort of. Take "No I amn't" for instance.

I think I will start incorporating this into my everyday speech.

"Are you available for a client meeting?"

"No, I amn't."

typical 2 year-old humor

Or is it? Jokes like these make me wonder if I'm living with a 2 year-old or the Last Comic Standing.

• The other night we were playing a family game of Candyland. When Norman decided to walk across the board game, Elian announced, "It's Puppyland!!!"

• He was playing the wooden flute that Grandma and Grandpa Schulz gave him when it "slipped" out of his hands. It "flewwwwttt" across the room. (And in case we didn't get it). It "fluuuuuu - tttttttttte" across the room. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Word play and bad puns. I think one day the boy will make a fine copywriter.

quote of the day

(This is not at all an unusual conversation these days. It is only quote-of-the-day worthy when you consider the volume at which the following was exchanged.)

(From the other room) MAMA!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?!?!

I'M GOING POTTY!!!!!!!

DO YOU HAVE A PEE PEE, MAMA!?!?!?!?!?

NO, I'M A GIRL!! GIRLS DON'T HAVE PEE PEES!!!!!

(Hey neighbors, how's that for enlightenment?)

just in case you thought i was exaggerating his love for marble runs

Note: This is probably the 11th time he sent marbles down this run before I thought to get the camera out. So keep in mind, these are more subdued body spasms.

can you tell me how to get, how to get to crazy street?

Yesterday when I took Norman for a walk, I wore my Grover T-shirt. I like to wear that shirt, partly because I love Grover and partly because every time I wear it, I get a "Mahhh-ma!" from Elian (in the kind of tone that goes with eye rolling -- I can't wait to wear it to his high school basketball games).

So I'm walking along. I have my iPod on "shuffle all songs" which includes special-select songs for Elian. When "C is for Cookie" comes on, sung by the great Cookie Monster, I imagine myself getting mugged and the mugger's story that would follow: "Yeah, I got this iPod from a whacko lady wearing a Grover T-shirt listening to 'C is for Cookie'!!"

and then there's this

Like father.




Like Son.

his second home

This morning after we dropped Papa off at work, the little man came with me to drop something off to a client. A client whose offices just happen to be across the street from the Target Center, home to Minnesota's NBA basketball team.

There's a new restaurant there now called NBA City. He was pretty excited when he saw the signage, but not quite as excited as I thought he would be.

We really need to take him down there at night so he can see it in all its glory -- when the basketballs light up consecutively to give the illusion of a basket being made. I'm not sure what kind of fare they serve at NBA City. But I get the feeling there's a good chance we may be dining there in the future.

Next, we stopped for coffee and a muffin at a place where I sometimes do work. After scanning the cafe and seeing all of the worker drones conducting business on laptops and cell phones, I felt so lucky to be there with the coolest boss ever.

nobody loves him

Our little dude has a strange fear/dislike for Eyeore. Yes, Eyeore, the sad donkey friend of Winnie-the-Pooh.

I believe it began when Grandma Johnson put a little stuffed Eyeore on the crib when we visited one time. He insisted that we not only remove it from the crib, but TAKE IT DOWNSTAIRS!! So his next visit to Janesville, do you think he forgot? Not so much. TAKE IT DOWNSTAIRS!

So today we're eating our lunch and he asked me to feed him like a donkey. What? Doesn't every kid want to be fed like a donkey? After he made this request, I decided that maybe now would be a good time to test the Eyeore waters. So I said, "Should I pretend your Eyeore?" And with eyes to the floor, he solemnly says, "No."

And that was that.

no seagulls were left hungry

quote of the day

(Pulling the zipper down on my sweatshirt.)

Mama, what's on your shirt?

Those are stripes.

Why? Is that your FANCY shirt?

Yes, honey, sadly it is.

quote of the day

These quotes of the days are getting very difficult only because the little man says so many funny things all day long. It's so hard to keep track -- which I guess is all the more reason to keep doing quotes of the day, right?

(I picked up some sushi at the grocery store for lunch. We're sitting down. Me with sushi, Elian with PB&J.)

Him: Mama, do I like sushi?

Me: Well, I'm not sure.

Him: Can I try some?

(Normally, I'm on board to let him try just about anything once, but I'm not sure if raw fish is okay for toddlers.)

Me: Well, I don't know buddy, it's pretty spicy. (We use the spicy thing a lot.)

Him: Maybe when I get older I can have sushi? Mama will say, "Elian, do you want some sushi for lunch? And I'll say, 'okay! I DO want sushi'"

quote of the day

(Said with finger up nose.)

"I felt something!"

guess who went to work with papa?

Or maybe this is how we punish the boy. Forget the timeout -- get over there and put on your SPAM suit!!

can't...talk...eating...pie

quote of the day

(After waking up at 6 a.m. this morning)

"Buddy, why don't you go back to sleep -- the sun didn't even wake up yet."

"I want to watch Caillou."

"Calliou? You want to watch CAILLOU?"

"I wish I had a TV in my crib. That would be coolio."

lake withdrawal

We must be missing Lake Superior because this morning we decided to go out to breakfast and take a walk around Lake Harriet in our pre-Elian neighborhood. The little man got his fill of rock throwing and as we made our way around the lake, he treated fellow walkers to a chorus of whys and an unusual amount of puppy yelping.

We re-introduced him to the troll tree, home of Mr. Little Guy. Not that I want my little boy to grow up any faster, but I can't wait until he's old enough to get into the troll tree (maybe next year?). I think I would've peed my pants over it as a child given my love of little people. I only hope the beautiful soul who puts the time into performing the troll magic, doesn't lose interest by then. We found two ziplock baggies inside the tree with responses to kids who had left notes. We wondered if people realized they were notes from the troll as it seemed there were too many to have been left behind. Perhaps Mr. Little Guy just writes a chunk of responses at a time.

We passed the band shelter and consession house and Elian said, "Do they sell ice cream there?" Is it possible he remembered that from last year or did it just look like a place that sold ice cream? He is getting pretty savvy at recognizing places that house sweets.

There was some sort of race that was finishing up so there was a bit of hoopla around there. Free Naked juice samples, mini donuts, Famous Daves, climby thing with giant slide, and bouncing castle that Elian cautiously jumped in twice. I think we picked a good day to go.

it's humongous!

quote of the day

(On the way up north.)

Did you see that Mama?

Um, no buddy I missed it.

Did you see it?

No, I didn't see it.

Did you see that, Mama?

Yes buddy, I DID see it! THAT WAS SO COOL!

What was it?

D'oh!

why?

That is, was and will be the question.

The boy had been asking "why?" for a while. But he usually used "how?" with when I think he really meant "why?" And then we went up north. That's when he figured out the difference.

Pray for us.

north shore 2007

I have trouble writing about large chunks of time. That probably says something about my writing ability -- or my memory. I do better with little snippets. So rather than bore you with the details of our trip up north, I'll just say we had an incredible time.

We've been going to the same place for more than 10 years now. Every year we discover something new. And now, with the little man, our visit is a lot different than the times we used to while away the hours reading, doing jigsaw puzzles and crosswords, playing yatzee and doing a lot of napping. But I wouldn't change it for the world. Here are some of the highlights in photos. I'll add more photos and maybe some video once I get it off the camera.

You didn't think we were going to get away with not playing basketball, did you?


Can you say mini-me?


Just two handsome dudes sitting on the rocks.


Unfortunately, the train stopped running after Labor Day. Luckily, someone got over it.


His trademark gargoyle pose.


What's this? A BALL statue?

gone fishing

Tomorrow we leave for our annual trip up to the North Shore of Lake Superior (to an undisclosed location for any internet pervs out there). We return on Thursday and I'm sure there will be stories to tell -- especially if the boy's red spots don't clear up soon.

He's had a bad cold since Wednesday and has these mysterious red spots that keep appearing. The nurse I talked to today didn't seem overly concerned. We're just supposed to give him Benadryl and wait and see. At the very least we can expect to do a whole lot of booger wiping while we're up north. And here we had a really good streak of good health going for a while. Boo.

So hold on to your hats for lots of pictures of a spotty-faced, booger-nosed kid when we return. And who doesn't love pictures of that?