thanks, walt. (jerk.)

Friday night Ed went out with a friend and Elian and I had movie night. We dimmed the lights, cuddled up under a big blanket with a piece of banana cream pie and watched 101 Dalmatians. He was super cuddly and super kissy. And it was super awesome.

Except for that part where Cruella Daville was smoking the long cigarette.
"What's that Mama?"
(Not wanting to make a big deal about it since I knew if I did, there would be no stopping him) "It's a cigarette."
"What is she doing?"
"She's smoking it. And that's very, very bad for you. She shouldn't be doing it." (Okay, maybe that was making a big deal about it, but I had to say something.)
"Maybe I can have a cigarette when I get older."
"No. You can't. Cigarettes are very bad for you. They're yucky. Mama and Papa don't smoke."
"Cruella Daville is smoking."
"That's because this movie was made a very long time ago. Before they knew that smoking was bad for you."

Fast forward to Sunday. We're playing baseball and out of the blue, he shouts, "CIGARETTE BUTT!" (Apparently he and Papa had found one outside.) Then this, "It's a cigarette...and it has a BUTT!!!! Hahahahahahaha!"

Forget the fact that Cruella Daville wanted to make furs out of Dalmatian puppies. She's trying to teach my baby to smoke!

how youtube works

quote of the day

(Today we dropped off a piece of banana cream pie for Lempi. She was looking more dressed up than usual but said she wasn't going anywhere.)

ELIAN: Remember when we stopped by Lempi's house today and she was dressed up -- but she wasn't going anywhere? Why was she dressed up?

MAMA: I don't know, sometimes people get dressed up even when they're not going anywhere special just to make themselves feel good.

ELIAN: Sometime I want to get dressed up.

MAMA: Oh, yeah? What do you want to wear?

ELIAN: A Halloween costume...a scarf...and a soft coat.

one of life's great mysteries

For reasons unbeknownst to us, the other day, the little man kept saying this:

just be thankful

that you weren't here to see the look on his face when I explained that the chick -- the one that the Easter Bunny brought, that has been sitting submerged in water for over a day, that we've been watching and waiting for it to hatch, yes, that one -- is not actually going to hatch a REAL chick, just a plastic one.

got 37:10 minutes?

Watch this speech. I dare you not to love this man -- I DARE YOU!

say whaaa?

The little man has been known to blurt out random and unrelated things in a tourrettes-like fashion. A while ago, out of nowhere, this came out of his mouth: "Words-and-pictures-by-Sid-Hoff." Then, tonight while we were playing pool before bed, he muttered something about Richard Scarry. Is there some sort of children-book-illustrator form of tourrettes?

I think I'm going to google it.

he's got the music in him

I've been dreaming of the day I'd see my boy on stage dressed like a tree delivering some three-word line he dutifully rehearsed. Well, we haven't quite reached that milestone yet, but he did have his first pre-school performance at their potluck dinner the other night.

I didn't even think he was going to be part of the performance considering he's only there two afternoons a week, missing the music class (apparently he was involved in some clandestine rehearsals). He was also feeling a bit under the weather at the time. But all things considered, I think he truly shined.

Here's a small sample of the Leprechaun Song. (Be thankful it's a small sample -- it was a very. long. song.) I love how the big brothers in the audience sing along and do the motions as they watch.

a story about stories

Once upon a time there was a little boy who didn't like to go to bed. So the Mama and Papa thought, "Hey, let's let him listen to stories while he's falling asleep." So the Papa went to iTunes and downloaded several happy stories that would lull him into a peaceful slumber.

Oh, how the little boy enjoyed the stories -- Tiki, Tiki, Tembo, Frog and Toad, Winnie the Pooh, Dr. Seuess -- they became his dearest friends. Each night he would start them up himself using a remote control. And each night he would slowly drift off to sleep as the stories progressed.

Then one night something bad happened. Something very bad. Instead of pushing play on the CD remote control, the little boy (or the Mama) pushed "Repeat". About 45 minutes later, after leaving his room, the Mama heard frantic crying. She raced up to the little boy's room to see what was the matter and this is what she heard:

"Make it stop!...It keeps playing Tiki, Tiki, Tembo!"

The Mama realized what had happened : The little boy had heard Tiki, Tiki, Tembo over and over again. Either that or he drifted off to sleep to Tiki, Tiki, Tembo and then woke up later to hear it still playing. Clearly very traumatic.

That was a good few months ago and to this day the little boy still does not want to hear any stories when he goes to bed. Nor does he want to hear them before his nap. And don't even try to suggest music.

The End.

i was dancing at the lesbian bar

This weekend was chock-full of family fun. It was the first weekend in a while that neither Ed nor I had any work to do, so we packed in a whole lot of action.

Friday night, Ed and I had a date night, while Elian stayed home with Ed's friend Mary (on whom I think Elian may have a wee crush). We ate fancy-pants Mexican food at Masa followed by a Jonathan Richman show. This took me back to when our love was young. Ed introduced me to Jonathan Richman when we first started dating and we have seen him perform a few times. But now that I'm as old as the hills, I was having trouble staying awake until the end of the show. Nonetheless, it was very enjoyable.

If you've never seen Jonathan Richman perform, here's what you're missing.



Saturday morning we enjoyed piping hot pancakes (or "panks" as we call them in our family). Elian was a tad bit on the emotional side all morning -- crying for no apparent reason. So we were a little bit nervous to take him to the Minnesota Orchestra performance we had tickets for: Maya Angelou reading "On the Day You Were Born" with orchestra and visual accompaniment. It was a Free Target Family performance so I figured we could leave if we had to and Ed threw in an M&M bribe for good behavior. Before the performance, they had a hands-on music factory and Elian got to try a violin and some other instruments out. I sort of thought he would enjoy the orchestra given his love for classical music, but I really wasn't sure if he was going to be able to sit through the whole thing. His reaction to the performance didn't disappoint. He sat on the edge of his seat gasping as the music reached a crescendo. Having him sit on my lap as we listened and watched Maya Angelou read a children's book was beyond awesome. I'm so glad we went.

After the orchestra, we went out to dinner at Conga, a "Latin Bistro." Luckily they had white paper over the tablecloths so little e could draw to his heart's content. I wish we would've saved this piece of paper given the elaborate drawings on it -- marble runs, a picture of Norman -- with Elian hair, an ice cream cone, cherry, bird, loaf of bread, Christmas tree, basketball -- all on his head. Not to mention a hysterical family flow chart. After watching Papa perform impressive magic tricks putting crayons up his nose and pulling them out of his mouth, the whole family was in a fit of giggles which culminated in Ed knocking his coke off the table. We wrapped up the dinner with some delicious flan that Elian devoured almost entirely on his own.

As if the carb-loading pancake breakfast yesterday wasn't enough, this morning we had homemade waffles. Elian enjoyed the comparison of the batter oozing into the squares as a marble going down a marble run. Next it was a family walk. Then, in the afternoon, Elian's friend Emma had her birthday party at a Ballroom Dance studio where we received dance lessons from a baby ballroom dance instructor. What a hoot that was.

The End.

keep your paws off him, posh.

Ed and Elian started taking a soccer class together. They play little "games" at the end of the practice. Our little man has come home twice with the news that he scored a goal!

Here are some of the highlights:


This is the "Airplane Stop". You may have seen David Beckham perform this one.


And here's the intense game. I love how he just stops running -- seemingly out of sheer lack of interest.

do you know this woman?

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quote of the day

(While watching a youtube video that was experiencing a few video hiccups.)

"I think that it wasn't downloaded very well."

(That was the 3 year-old, not me.)

the power of candy

When Elian started playschool, he really, really loved it. Then, right before we left to Florida, he decided he didn't like it too much. He would ask me that day if he had to go to playschool and when I said yes, he would start to cry. Getting him ready to go wasn't so nice. I had to struggle with him to get his jacket on and I felt awful dropping him off -- like, "See ya later, kid! Sorry."

But I should've known, like most unpleasant things with him, it was just a stage. Or was it?

He had missed Valentine's Day at playschool since we were in Florida. When I picked him up after his first day back, there was a bag with his name on it sitting on his carpet square. We opened it up when we got home. Inside were the most glorious contents a little boy who didn't like playschool could find -- valentines, candy, tattoos, candy, a pencil, candy. And did I mention, CANDY!?!? Shortly after seeing everything in the bag and eating a few M&Ms, he decided that playschool wasn't so bad after all. In fact, he loved playschool again.

I did explain that it was just a special thing for Valentine's Day and that he wasn't going to get candy and nice cards every day. But since then, he has been more than happy to go and still loves it as much as he did in the beginning...


...or does he?

the weekend in review

We had a jim-dandy weekend here at the Hernandezeseseses. Friday night, Ed went out with the boys, so the little man and I had a date. We went out for pizza and ice cream and might I say he was a true gentleman.

Saturday night we took Elian to his first basketball game. We checked out the local high school basketball schedule and saw the De La Salle Highschool Islanders against the Minneapolis North Polars. I wasn't sure who to root for given my little sister went to Minneapolis North. But since we were at De La Salle for the game, I thought maybe we should root, root, root for the home team. So we rooted for both teams.

We got some popcorn, a coke and Elian picked out a giant snicker bar -- all for the low, low price of $3. What a deal. The little man sat captivated through almost the entire game, gnawing away at his snicker bar and wiping chocolate drool from his face. He couldn't believe all the basketballs flying around during warmup. It was quite an exciting game. According to the chatty dude sitting next to me, apparently De La Salle's star player had just been expelled. And he was ranked like number something in the nation, blah, blah, blah! Alas, De La Salle lost by one point. Stupid expulsion -- that'll teach ya, kid.

On Sunday we went bowling. We wouldn't tell the little dude where we were going. He was pleasantly surprised when we arrived at the bowling alley. They had bumpers and even a little ramp to roll the ball down. I'm proud to say I broke 100. I think I need to play with bumpers more often -- and maybe a ramp.