quote of the day

"I JUST WANT TO PLAY BOWLING AGAIN...WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!??!?!?"

jingle bells with candy cane (and itchy bum)

christmas in photos by elian hernandez

the haul

We had a great Christmas with the exception of a heightened anxiety attack by our little man to perhaps be detailed in a later post.

In order of appearance, here's what the little dude scored from very generous family and friends.

Gourmet-scented colored pencils and a finger-print book from Mr. and Mrs. Rodgers
A 300-piece fox puzzle and 3-in-1 Lego kit from "his Kim" (babysitter)
Chutes and Ladders from the next-door neighbors
Digital camera, camera bag, motorized truck and bulldozer, Curious George Goes to the Aquarium from Grandma and Grandpa Schulz
Giant remote-control corvette from Uncle Mike, Aunt Shannon, Lilah, Gavin and Emma
Colorful wooden letters spelling out Elian, "Magnificent Me" and little tractor from Aunt Lisa, Uncle Tom, Chloe, Matt and Sean
Fuzzy, warm polar bear pjs from Aunt Karen, Uncle Bob, Colin, Marie, Neal and Isabelle

A Winnie-the-Pooh musical ornament, Wii and collection of Wii games from Grandma and Grandpa Johnson (to be returned because mean Mama did not think he is old enough to have one yet)
Two Zen Panda books, a Cars floor puzzle, a lego kit and a HABA glass tube (for his wooden marble run to be received later at home) from Aunt Laura, Uncle Matt, Ian, Isaac and Eli
Tinker Toys (which unlike nephew Sean, he LOVES) from Aunt Kendra, Uncle Steve and Thurston
Table-top Foos Ball from Uncle Craig

A wooden starter HABA marble run with additional "which-way-it-goes" piece
Toolbox made by Papa stocked with his very own tools
A light-weight basketball
Winnie-the-Pooh playing basketball t-shirt
Zingo

In Stocking:
Stuffed Piglet (which arrived late and was intercepted and place in his stocking by the neighbor)
Chocolate Santas, Hershey Kisses, M&Ms
A Wooden Thomas the Tank Engine
Die-Cast Chick Hicks from the movie Cars
A Christmas Orange

Oh, and the best part? His birthday is less than a month away.

happy holidays!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls,

Behold! The 2008 Hernandez Family Musical Holiday Card & Revue!

(Click the link at your own peril)

a fly on the wall

Elian had his little holiday party at preschool the other day. All of the kids gave their parents a frame they had made decorated with jigsaw puzzle pieces along with a CD of pictures one of the teachers had taken in class.

I love being able to see what goes on in the little man's life when we're not around. I can only hope that his high school teachers do the same. (On second thought, maybe not.)

burning energy

with an indoor obstacle course!

the year without a santa claus

This year, Elian told me that he did not want to see Santa. As much as I love the tradition, I don't want to scar the boy if he has some sort of Santaphobia.

I'll get over it. Eventually.

the other child

Somebody needs to go on doggie Prozac.

(Note to self: So that's why my bras always smell like dog breath!)

oh, christmas tree

Cardboard Tube Castle. To be filed in the "Seemed-Like-a-Good-Idea-at-the-Time" category.

great, one more thing we have to share!

Today marked the arrival of the much-anticipated annual box of Godiva truffles from our relator.

After I opened the box and revealed its contents, Elian began jumping up and down, waving his hands in the air exclaiming, "We LIKE these!"

I've never seen a boy scarf down a lunch so quickly.

wacky week!

This week is "Wacky Week" at the little dude's playschool. Monday was Pajama Day so he got to wear his pjs to school. Wednesday was Inside-out-Day, celebrated by the whimsical wearing of his clothing inside-out.

Since he's only at playschool two afternoons a week, he was very concerned about which wacky days he'd be missing. So Super Papa suggested that we celebrate Wacky Week at home. As it turns out, I had thrown away the Wacky Week schedule, so I wasn't sure what kind of wackiness was to go on the other days (sorry, Grandma). All I could remember was Hat Day.

On Tuesday, the little man and I made hats that we wore (for about five minutes). He ate PB&J for breakfast and Super Papa had the genius idea of having waffles for dinner (why can't every week be wacky?) served on a grown-up glass plate for the little man, and a monkey and a crab plate for Mama and Papa (we won't say who got the crab). And if you don't think that's wacky enough, Papa and I slept on opposite sides of the bed!

I know, we're crazy.

P.S. Today is Stripe Day. Let the wackiness begin!

quote of the day

"Mama, can I have chocolate in the middle of the night if I have a cold?...Because chocolate is black -- and so is the night!"

hot dog

How cold and how deep does the snow have to be before Norman says, "Ah, f-it, I don't really feel like going for a walk today."

Also,

Hear ye! Hear ye! we can now add, cross-country skiers to the list of oddly-mobile pedestrians (skateboarders, scooterers, roller-skaters) that Norman wants to eat.

meow

Remember the kitty-cat house I told you about? You wouldn't believe the mileage the kid's gotten out of that thing. Looks like somebody's getting cardboard boxes for Christmas!

And speaking of Christmas, the other day Elian says to me with great hesitation, "Mama, I saw Hotwheels in the closet." Looks like Santa's going to have to find a new hiding spot.

we like to bake, we like to bake

What do you do when Jack Frost is nipping at your nose? You make giant soft pretzels that's what you do!






Please note Papa's poop pretzel in the bottom left hand corner.



Out of the oven! But the trusty Hernan-dos photographer couldn't get there before some mice came and snatched a few (including the poop pretzel).


And who could forget, Elian's famous BALL SOUP!?!

quote of the day

"I want to watch something and have some cheese."

(Not sure if this is QOTD-worthy, but for some reason, it made me laugh.)

fish story

Looking at Tilapia fish swimming around in a tank at the Midtown Global Market.

ELIAN: What are those fish doing in there?

PAPA: They're swimming around. People can buy those fish to eat.

ELIAN: (BLINK. BLINK. BLINK. AWKWARD SMILE. LOOKS AT MAMA. LOOKS AT PAPA.)

MAMA: (BRACING HERSELF. STILL PRETTY SURE THE BOY DOESN'T REALIZE THE CONNECTION BETWEEN THE CHICKEN WE EAT AND THE CHICKEN THAT LIVES ON A FARM AND SHE HASN'T HAD THE HEART TO BREAK IT TO HIM.)

ELIAN: Is that true?

PAPA: Yes. You know when you went fishing at Leech Lake? Some people fish and then eat the fish they catch.

ELIAN: (SILENCE.)

Then we slowly walk away, making our way to a happy place.

quote of the day

We pass a grave yard on our way to the No Coast Craftorama.

ELIAN: What is that?

PAPA: It's a graveyard. When people die, they put up a stone that says when they are born and the year that they die to honor them. LONG PAUSE. Then, they usually bury the bodies in the ground.

ELIAN: Dying isn't very good is it?

MAMA & PAPA: (BIG LAUGHS.)

(You might start to notice a trend that whenever a heavy topic comes up, I'm going to let Papa take it if he's with us. I'm whimpie that way.)

i think all of the crazy christmas shoppers must be getting to her

Check out this creeptastically awesome video Aunt Karen sent us.

I showed it to the little man. I pointed to the elves and asked him if he could identify them. He could. And still, as he sat and watched the video, he barely cracked a smile. He is SO his father's child.

the disney dilemma

Ed's been collecting Pixar and Disney animated movies for a while now, so we had quite the stash even before the little man was born. It's been a while since I've seen many of them with the exception of some of the recent Pixar movies.

Up until a short while ago, Elian couldn't really make it past a half-hour show. Gradually, we starting easing him into a few movies. I think Lady and the Tramp may have been the first one. Followed by 101 Dalmatians. Then Cars. Or something like that. All very innocuous movies (save the fact that Cruella Deville wants to skin the puppies for fur coats which luckily went over his head). All was well.

It used to be that he wanted to watch the same movie 1400 times. Now when he wants to watch a movie, he'll dig through the drawer, pulling them out one-by-one to find one he hasn't seen yet. Recently we watched "The Lion King." He sat very still and watched as Simba's father Mustafa was killed, while I secretly blubbered away behind him, thinking that just moments ago, he had no concept of what "killing" was.

The other day he wanted to watch Pinocchio. Have you seen that movie lately? There's a scene in Gepetto's woodshop when all of the coo coo clocks go off -- one un-PC clock at a time -- the drunk guy, the man chopping off the turkey head, the dude shooting at a bird, the woman spanking the bare bottom her kid -- one after the other. We didn't make it all the way through Pinocchio. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to explain all of the kids getting drunk and smoking cigars.

So then yesterday, he's rifling through the DVDs. I brace myself. It's the motherload. He says he wants to watch Bambi. BAMBI!!! Before we start the movie, I explain what hunters are -- how they kill animals to eat -- and that something very sad happens in the movie. Maybe I'm flattering myself, but I thought it could be quite devastating to the kid. So we get to the part when Bambi's mother is shot and he doesn't even flinch. Seems very non-plussed by the whole thing.

So what exactly is an appropriate age for a child to start watching these movies? And why does every Disney movie have to have guns in it? I must say I do like the length and the pace of the older movies. They feel a lot slower and will spend about 5 minutes on animals just doing animal things in the forrest -- not trying to pack every joke in a minute that they can (no wonder so many people have ADD). Also, they're a more reasonable length for kids. I think Bambi was like an hour long.

And this concludes Amy blabberfest.

nothing like a little hopscotch in november

a day in the life of a monkey

Yesterday we went to see Macy's "Day in the Life of an Elf." We figured we'd get there early, you know, beat the crowds, I mean it's not even Thanksgiving, people! WRONGO BONGO! We saw the line wrap around several corners and ropes and high-tailed it to the Macy's cafeteria. That'll teach us to think ahead. Looks like we'll have to pair it up with our usual pilgrimage to see Santa on our Secret-Visiting-Day when there are no crowds. Ha!

Elian loves to eat at the Macy's cafeteria. It's like Old Country Buffet to him where he can pick whatever he wants. Most of the heated items weren't out for the weekend so he couldn't get his regular macaroni and cheese that he gets when we visit Papa for lunch. He decided he wanted sushi instead. No, really. Sushi and a Granny Smith apple as big as his head.







I opted for a tiny sample of chicken-noodle soup and a giant spinach salad.



And Papa went for a pressed ham and cheese sandwich and some kind of grainy salad. Apparently he didn't feel his meal was photo-worthy.

After lunch, we wandered over to one of Mama's favorite places. The little man chewed bubble gum for the very first time (he'd tried a piece a few weeks before but never actually chewed it - just like Bill Clinton). It was totally funny seeing him swing his arms like he was Mr. Cool Guy chewing his gum. He tried to make eye contact with everyone we passed to make sure they knew he was chewing gum. It was hilarious. You can see how much he's enjoying it by the look on his face. It was probably the most stale gum ball on the face of the earth. I know because I chewed the other half (for about 14 seconds). Poor guy, his only two experiences with gum have been with totally hard and stale gum balls.

ni hao

When we moved into our house, I liked the fact that we were so close to a school. Even though I knew nothing about it, I imagined how great it would be to be able to walk my child to school every day. Sadly, due to lack of funding/enrollment the school closed and I still haven't done any serious looking into kindergarten yet.

We talked about the possibility of Spanish Immersion school. I mean a kid named Elian Hernandez (not to mention a man named Eduardo Hernandez) pretty much has to speak Spanish. But the Spanish Immersion school starts at 7:30 a.m. As if. So imagine my surprise when I learned that the school so close to us will probably be reopening. As a Chinese immersion school.

From what I know so far, it's one of the first Chinese immersion schools in the Midwest. It's growing so fast that they've grown out of their space in St. Paul. And it starts at a reasonable 9 a.m. I'm intrigued. I think there's been a waiting list for the kindergarten, so who knows how realistic of an option it is. Dude, can't you just imagine the little man speaking CHINESE?!?

then there's this

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a morning visitor

We had this sweet routine going on at the Hernandezeseses (well, sweet for me anyway). I'd get out of bed a little earlier, scarf down a bowl of cereal, then take Norman for a walk. Papa got to share a little quality time with the boy, waking up with him, feeding him breakfast and maybe even building a marble run or two.

But lately, that plan has gone by the wayside. As soon as the little man hears me make my way down the stairs, he yells for me. "MAMA! I want to eat breakfast with you....!" While I'm very flattered that he wants to share this meal with me, and I'm happy to do it, it kind of throws off my morning flow. So my little puppy (the role he usually assumes in the morning) and I go downstairs, make his breakfast, we eat together, then I get a later start walking Norman.

Last night we were driving home from the cousins' house. From the back seat I hear, "Mama, when it's close to morning, can I come into your bed." Since I'm very curious where this is going, I agree to it. I ask him about the details, will he just walk to our bed and climb in? No, apparently mama is to wake him up when it's close to morning and bring him into the bed. I'm still a little puzzled about what brought this on. So I tell him, if he wakes up close to morning and wants to come to our bed, he can just walk over and tap us on the shoulder and we'll lift him up.

So this morning, on schedule, we hear him sort of whining and moaning in his bed at about 6 am. This usually means he is tangled in blankets or wants someone to cover him up. Ed goes in to check on him and carries him back to our bed. Surprisingly, he immediately falls asleep between the two of us and since Ed's getting the brunt of his kicking and pushing, I'm thinking it's kind of nice. About an hour later, I wake up and start to put my dog-walking clothes on, and as if responding to some sort of alarm, Elian jolts out of his sleep and says, "MAMA! I want to eat breakfast with you!"

to-do list

This past weekend the little man made himself a to-do list. The boy has lots of responsibilities. It was two-sided, people!





He wrote it pretty lightly and my hack photography didn't quite pick it up. It reads:
Go to race cars.
Brush teeth.
Put sticker on chart.

I know, we are very demanding parents. Someone call social services.

freeze cut

The little dude has brought up "freeze cut" on more than a few occasions recently. It took me a little while, but I've figured out what he was talking about: Frost bite.

I like freeze cut. And like his word "muss-word" (for mustard), I don't think we will be discouraging its usage any time soon.

if i had millions of dollars

I would finance a scientific study to prove toddler PMS. I seriously believe the little man and I experience crazy hormonal unbalance at the same time. Take what happened so far today:

I go to pick him up from his little pre-school class. I accidentally tug a little of his hair while helping him put on his hat. The crying begins: WAHHHHH!!!!

Before we exit the building, he wants to sit on the counter and jump off like he sees his friend AJ doing. I say, "Let's just get going buddy." He seems to take it pretty well. We start our walk home and he starts sobbing. I ask him what's wrong to which he replies, "I...don't...knowwwwwwwwww...."

We meet up with a little girl who's in his class and lives down the street from us. They start to race each other down the path of the park. She gets to the street and proclaims herself the winner. Without missing a beat, he starts to cry, "She...said...she...wonnnnnn. She...didn't...win!!!!!!"

We make our way inside the house. As I start making lunch he sees his SPAM beach ball that's a little flat (and has been for days). He starts to freak out. "MAMA, CAN YOU BLOW UP MY SPAM BALL!?!?!?!....tears, tears, tears,...BLOW UP MY SPAM BALL!!!" He finally settles down and scarfs down his lunch. (Maybe it's hunger?) I ask him what he did in class. He tells me about prints they made with apples and paint. Then his face falls and the waterworks start again, "WE LEFT IT THERE!!!!...!!!!...!!!!" (No, it's PMS. Definitely PMS.) I explain that maybe it wasn't dry and it wasn't ready to be taken home. We'd pick it up next class. I mean it's not like we don't have a mountain of pre-school projects already (I didn't say that part out loud).

Now he's in bed listening to Pooh stories. I'm crossing my fingers he takes a nap. Or some Midol.

just two handsome dudes

you're welcome, usps

The little man has found his muse. Out of nowhere he'll announce, "I want to write a letter to (insert name here)". The lucky recipient is usually a grandma or grandpa or maybe the last people to send him candy in the mail like MISTERANDMISSUSRODGERS.

After raiding my office supplies, he'll sit at the table where he'll begin penning (or crayoning) his thoughts. He dictates what he wants to say, and I'll spell it out for him while doing dishes. It usually goes something like this: "Dear Grandma and Grandpa, I love you. You are my best friend. Love, Elian" He sent one to Papa at work the other day that said: "Dear Papa, I like playing pool with you. Love, Elian"

He often embellishes his prose with little boxes. Then, after completing his cover art, he attempts to slide it into the 6x9 envelope but usually calls for assistance. He insists on licking the envelope himself and never fails to ask about the pesky clasp. And finally, he carefully selects one of the Disney stamps he picked out at the post office, places it on the envelope and walks it out to the mailbox.

to everyone who rolled their eyes at my obama postings, this one's for you

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

a photo series by elian luis hernandez