their aim's going to have to get a lot better before I move to the suburbs

We're in the process of getting new windows installed upstairs. The other day the window guy had this to report:

Window Guy: "Do you know that you have a little hole in your siding?"

Me: (thinking) "Oh, please don't be termites... please don't be termites" (note: we have aluminum siding)

Window Guy: "Yeah, it's a very small hole."

Me: (thinking) "Oh crap, it's mice...yes, special aluminum burrowing mice..."

Window Guy: "I hate to be the one to tell you guys this..."

Me: (thinking) "No wait, it's carpenter ants...We've got carpenter ants!!!"

Window Guy: "...but I know a lot about guns and ammunition and I'm pretty sure it's a bullet hole. Probably a 45 millimeter shotgun"

Me: (thinking) "PHEW!!! It's only a bullet hole."