now starring in his very own tide commercial

I thought Elian might enjoy some grape juice for a change. He tried it today for the first time in a long while. The very first sip came oozing out of his mouth and down the front of his shirt.

Then, while helping Papa make pizza on the grill this evening, he dripped about two tablespoons of tomato juice sauce down the front.

Had to use practically a whole stick of shout on that baby.

here, kitty kitty

One of my favorite things to do with the little man is to go to Petsmart (or the poor man's zoo as I like to call it). We've developed a regular routine on these trips and it goes a little something like this:

First we check out any critters of interest in the fish/bird/reptile section. Today it was guinea pigs based on Elian's newfound love of Wonder Pets. We also sought out a turtle (aka: Tuck in Wonder Pets) but he wasn't very exciting. Perhaps he was resting up for his next big adventure of saving a baby swan or something.

Then, we go check out the kitty-cats up for adoption. I've never really been a cat person but every time we do this I'm a microscopic allergy-causing pet dander away from adopting one -- or all of them. Elian speaks in this sweet, high-pitched, adoring voice as he gently strokes the kitty-cats through the bars of the cage while I give him the lowdown on each cat. Today, we almost missed one down at the end and he said, "Maybe he needs some love." And it turned out he did. So run, don't walk and adopt yourself one of those cats -- they're cute and cuddly! And speaking of cute, have you seen this?

Next, we make our way down the aisle for the real reason we came to the store in the first place -- to buy the dog food. Along the way, Elian tries to move giant bags of the dry stuff as he mimicks my grunting sounds, "Ugh, that's HEAVY."

What comes next is Elian's favorite part (next to the kitty-cats): The perusal of the dog-toy aisle. He especially enjoys this because all of the rubber balls are at his level. As he fondles each one lovingly, he contemplates which one he'd want to take home for himself, er, he means, Norman.

Last, but not least, our trip usually involves selecting some sort of delicious surprise treat for Norman. Today, since we are hosting Duncan for a visit, we chose two giant peanut-butter flavor cookies -- the mailman for Duncan, the cat for Norman. They even let us unwrap them before they swallowed them almost whole.

more beans

It appears the boy is a master gardener. His bean plant is producing a bountiful crop. Today he ate two for lunch. Here are some photos of him posing with last week's harvest. Farmers Market, here we come!!

"cavin" by a lake

Elian and I spent a few days at a cabin with most of my family and his cousins. And Ed spent four glorious nag-free days with his pals Tony Soprano and D-money.

Here are some pictures. Had Ed been there, they'd be much better. Damn it, they're still going in sideways. What the hell?















(please note the civilized child.)

quote of the day

Today Elian had a substitute babysitter (his usual sitter's sister). The following conversation took place shortly after I returned home from work.

Mama: "How did things with Emily go?"

Elian: "Good. (Pause). (Pause). I touched her boobies!"

the people on the bus

Today Elian and I took the bus downtown to have lunch with Papa. Since Ed takes the bus to work every day, naturally the ride was much anticipated by the little man.

For the duration of the short ride, he sat so still in my lap with a little nervous smile glued across his face. Much to his chagrin, the people on the bus were not going up and down, nor was the bus driver saying, "Move on back."

We met Papa at our usual place -- the lower level of Macy's. On the way there, Elian shared his enthusiasm for the bus with a woman trying on shoes, "I rode the bus!" For lunch, Ed and I got our usual (sushi for me, a salad concoction w/chicken and walnuts for Ed). But this time, Elian passed on the macaroni and cheese a la Macy's and instead opted for a deluxe, double-decker peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (One day, the boy is totally going to turn into either PB&J or a waffle -- I swear!)

We finished our lunch and on the way out of Macy's Elian said, "Look, it's Papa on the TV!" (He likes to point out when people look like Mama or Papa.) According to Ed, he half expected to look up and see, and I quote, "A big fat guy with a bald head." But it was in fact Papa and Elian both on the security camera. Following that discovery, there was much waving and a bit of hopping.

I think the ride home on the bus was a little more exciting for the boy as he sat in the seat next to me and moved about enjoying the freedom from the usual restraint of the carseat.

And that, my friends, was our trip on the bus. Stay tuned for our next installment when Elian and Mama take a trip up north to stay at a cabin on a lake with Grandma, Grandpa and the cousins.

another photo brought to you by ed's new lover, er, i mean lens

(There's just no stopping him with this new lens. He loves it so much. In fact, I think I caught him tongue-kissing it the other day.)

harvest day

A while back Elian planted a bean seed in the class we took together. The transplant from the styrofoam cup was a success and the little bean plant continued to thrive.

Yesterday I noticed there was a huge bean growing on it. Elian was so excited I thought he was going to pee his pants. And there's a good chance that he did. He insisted that he eat his bean RIGHT NOW. So I got some water boiling because that's what you do when you don't have a microwave. And we cooked that bean to the most perfect green crunchiness.

When he tasted it, you would've thought he was eating some sort of delectable chocolatey ice cream treat or something. Mmmmmmm! So I'm thinking when/if his enthusiasm (or tolerance) for vegetables dwindles, we may have to build a green house.

And fill it with little styrofoam cups.

happyhappyjoyjoy

best. things. ever. volume 6

• The way you pronounce air conditioning: air decision.
• How you give serious consideration, before every car ride, to what ball should accompany you.
• How you say banana: bee-anna.
• Our front-porch picnics for lunch every day, or, as I like to call them, our meetings of the minds.
• How one day you can love, love, love the tornado slide, and the next day, not so much -- ditto for ants.
• How you will still plant a big kiss on a random tree every once in a while.
• When you sing the theme to "Wonder Pets" -- how even though you don't have the words right, it still makes sense.
• How you ask papa if you can do something and if he says no, you ask me and vice versa -- and you're only two (we're in trouble).
• How you'll run and get a ball or some sort of pick-me-up for a distressed character in a book we're reading.
• The way you re-enact every video of you we watch on the computer.
• The look on your face when you present your book selections for the evening.
• The fact that you laugh hysterically at my bad jokes (one of your favorites: what do you want for lunch? peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and jelly?)
• When you return beaming from a walk with papa and puppy with a dandelion you picked for me.

quote of the day

(After checking himself out in the mirror.)

"I look like a small man."

he's soaking in it

The husband had a genius idea to let the little man "help" with the dishes. Turns out this kitchen-sink amusement can last for about an hour. It's like he's in a little dish-washing trance. It's quite awesome.

And about time the boy starts earning his keep.

oh look, it's a letter from our friends!

Yesterday little e got a letter from his cousin Izzy in the mail. Guess what she sent him. LITTLE TINY BALLS! Hooray! Thank you, Izzy for watching your little cousin's back. (Again with the sideways pictures -- what gives?)

hot dog

quote of the day

As I pushed him on the swing at the park, he watched as the workers cut down the tree and fed it in to the mulcher. After seeing the mulcher spit the tree parts into the truck, he said this:

"It's kinda like puke."

Then this, his trademark quote:
"Put a ball in there be funny."

quote of the day

Looking at magazine cover featuring Tony Soprano in checkout lane of supermarket.

"That looks like grandpa!"

little chief

quote of the day

(After being invited to see the fish in the neighbor's pond.)
Papa: Do you want to see the fish in the pond, buddy?
Elian: Maybe you can throw them?!?!?

The throwing fish guys in Seattle have definitely made an impression.

hernandez family vacation 2007

The Hernandez Family Vacation 2007 was a success! The little man was awesome and proved himself a boy of the biggest kind. We didn’t bring a lot of toys for him – just a few marbles, some books and his Little Tiny Soccer ball. But he managed to keep himself amused everywhere we went -- building half-and-half towers at breakfast, playing ice-bucket basketball, laughing hysterically as he watched mama’s undies tumble around in the washing machine like it was a funny TV show -- even though he missed his puppy and his toys back home like crazy.

We really loved Seattle and Vancouver and if it weren’t for a guaranteed life of bad hair days, I could see living in either place. Rather than bore you with the play by play, I’ll bore you with the photos! Let me know if you want to see more (and I mean, really, who wouldn't?) we have about 8 bazillion. Don't ask me why three of the following photos are on their sides -- I swear I wasn't drunk when I took them.

Space Needly goodness




Seattle has a lot of hills. Thankfully, the boy only weighs 28 pounds.




And what's a trip to Seattle without a picture of this guy? The boy loved him some fish flinging. That night, over a delicious dinner of linguine and clam sauce, we couldn't resist yelling, "ONE EMPTY CLAM SHELL!!" before throwing it into the bowl.




A family rock toss into Lake Washington. Kudos to our photographer Dan who captured the rocks mid-flight -- hello, National Geographic?!?!?




I smell a Christmas card (except for the bad-hair part).




Bainbridge Island ferry ride.




Lollipop bribe on Bainbridge Island Ferry.




The drive to Vancouver. (Not only did friends loan us their VW Passat, but also their handy-dandy GPS system. It only took minutes before Elian was chiming in on our jokes to the voice directing us where to go: "Look out for that car...right there." And by the end of the trip, he had her voice to a tee, "recalculating".)




You may want to think about rinsing that hotel ice bucket next time. You don't know where it's been.




Two monkeys in Stanley Park.




Vancouver Aquarium (Rainforest).




A teeny-tiny train ride through Stanley Park.




Checking out the Beluga whales.




One of the rare moments at mealtime when he wasn’t requesting doodle-pro drawings of things puking (swans, fish mongers, mama puking on Elian – dear god, I hope this is just a stage).




The Capilano Suspension Bridge.




That's a long way down.




A big-ass tree.




And last, but not least, two geeks.



Stay tuned. I have movies too!

gone fishing

The Hernandezeseseses are off on a family vacation to Seattle and Vancouver. Stay tuned for exciting stories of travel and ball spottings.