old maybe

Saturday morning we decided to take a family trip to Ikea. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, it's a family-friendly place and all...If your family likes to walk around like a herd of cattle and watch over-enthusiastic shoppers get way too excited about the deals to be had. But now that little e's virtually potty trained (knock on wood) we considered dropping him off at Smaland, the Ikea childcare/playcenter, so he could roll around naked in the pool of balls. And Mama and Papa could, well, shop.

Before we left, the little man grabbed a fistful of quarters from his college fund on the off chance they had a ball machine like the one at "Old Maybe." He's had only two experiences with the giant coin-operated ball machine at Old Navy (only one he remembers) and already he's addicted. I tried explaining that I didn't think Ikea had a ball machine like Old Maybe, but his assumption that there would be a ball machine should've been our first red flag. And my assumption that the Ikea-craze had died down a bit and the shopping crowd would be pleasantly moderate should've been the second.

When we got there, Smaland was already filled to capacity so there wasn't going to be any child supervision by an Ikea employee. We were on our own. But there would be some fun shopping for low-priced well-designed items for Mama and Papa. Hooray! The first 15 minutes or so went swimmingly. But then, the quarters began burning a hole in his pocket singeing a George-Washington shaped head on his upper thigh. He needed a ball machine. STAT!

We tried to speed through the items we wanted to look through. "How 'bout this? Would this work??" "I WANT TO GO TO OLD MAYBE!!!" "What are the dimensions on that?" "I WANT TO GO TO OLD MAYBE!!!! CAN WE GO TO OLD MAYBE??!?!?!?! CAN WE?!?!? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, CAN WE GO TO OLD MAYBE!??!?!?!?"

With boy in shopping cart, we hurried toward checkout as fast as humanly possible -- and NOT because we were taking him to Old Maybe. "WHAT'S THAT??? I SAW SOMETHING! I SAW SOMETHING!! TURN AROUND TURN AROUND!!!!" What he saw in the employee-only area, was about seven ginormous mesh bags filled with little plastic balls. Was this the recently disinfected batch for the Smaland ball pit -- or some sort of cruel joke?!?!?

After a tear-filled drive home, made painfully longer by a bathroom stop at a "Old McDonald's" Playland and its impending tube-slide access denial not to mention the 35W bridge being out, we finally made it home.

After gathering his wits with a much-needed nap, he and Papa headed over to Old Maybe with two quarters. When they got home, he ran excitedly inside with his treasures: a red ball for Elian and a green swirly ball for Mama.