riverboat

Today, while pushing Raisin around the shopping cart at the store, he kept saying what I thought was, "I want to go on a river boat." I quickly assumed it was something our pal Calliou said (or whined) in some episode where Calliou imagined he was involved in some elaborate riverboat gambling drama. So, I said what any good mother would say, "Mmm, hmm. A riverboat? That's nice." He looked a little frustrated and tried to annunciate a little more. "Yep. Got it...a riverboat. I wish we could go on a riverboat too." Finally, as we approached the checkout lane, he said it again. "I want to put it on the conveyor belt!"

River boat, conveyor belt -- it's all the same.

Stupid mama.

a boy and his (reluctant) dog

He is not amused.

little mr. sunshine

Okay, now I got my pictures to post, but they're posting like this:

it's always a good idea to wash your hands before eating

operation calliou phase-out

The little boy has grown quite fond of the show Calliou. And quite frankly, that Calliou kid can be a whiney little brat. The first few episodes we watched seemed innocent enough. But then the whining started.

And you know how they say that kids are very influenced by television? By golly, they're right! Ever since Elian saw the episode where Calliou expressed his displeasure in something by saying, "I don't like (INSERT WHATEVER CALLIOU DIDN'T LIKE HERE)!!!" he's decided he doesn't like, well, pretty much EVERYTHING!!

Sure, we've picked up a few good things from the show and have used them to our advantage. Like the episode where Lucky the horse eats some carrots. "Hey buddy, why don't you try to eat some of your carrots like Lucky..." (munch, munch, munch). And there's this one, "Calliou sleeps like a big boy -- I bet you can sleep like a big boy too!"

But it seems like the bad is outweighing the good so we've decided to cut him off. We're trying to phase him out gradually so he doesn't notice. We try to give the other shows we've saved on TIVO the hard sell, "How about Bob the Builder?... or Clifford the Big Red Dog...or what about CURIOUS GEORGE -- I wonder what antics that crazy monkey's up to today..." Usually it works. Usually.

We anticipate Operation Calliou Phase-out to be complete in a few weeks.

please stand by

I've been experiencing technical difficulties with Blogger. I can't seem to post a picture to save my life. Crap.

their aim's going to have to get a lot better before I move to the suburbs

We're in the process of getting new windows installed upstairs. The other day the window guy had this to report:

Window Guy: "Do you know that you have a little hole in your siding?"

Me: (thinking) "Oh, please don't be termites... please don't be termites" (note: we have aluminum siding)

Window Guy: "Yeah, it's a very small hole."

Me: (thinking) "Oh crap, it's mice...yes, special aluminum burrowing mice..."

Window Guy: "I hate to be the one to tell you guys this..."

Me: (thinking) "No wait, it's carpenter ants...We've got carpenter ants!!!"

Window Guy: "...but I know a lot about guns and ammunition and I'm pretty sure it's a bullet hole. Probably a 45 millimeter shotgun"

Me: (thinking) "PHEW!!! It's only a bullet hole."

hide and seek EXTREME

Lately little e has been enjoying the game of hide and seek. He likes to be the seeker. And when he's the seeker, you can count on having about three seconds max to hide. So finding and assuming your hiding position can be a dangerous challenge to say the least. I've pleaded with him to get him to count longer with a "Buddy, count SLOWLY -- count up to 10." Which usually results in a, "one...two...TEN!!" I know very well he can count to ten. So I suspect this is one of his many cheating tactics. Along with that part where he uncovers his eyes and watches me hide. It's not enough that I only have a nanosecond to do it. Then, there's Norman who works as his partner in crime. So in the event that I have managed to make it to a good hiding spot, the dog immediately reveals where I am.

In other news, someone seems to have lost interest in potty training. But I'm not going to mention any names.

we have TINKLE!!

We've been "practicing" on the potty lately and so far we've had three successful sittings.

The first time happened when Ed was in New York. As Elian sat on the potty, I sat on the bathtub and we just chatted. As he sat there and concentrated, it started to drip, drip, drip out. He said, "I did it mama!!" We both started laughing because we were so excited. Then he yelled, "Get a lollipop!" (I'd promised him one once he tinkled on the potty). So he sat on the bed and enjoyed his reward repeating over and over what I had told him, "tell papa all about it... Papa going to be so proud of you..."

The second time, he did it right before Ed was about to give him a bath. I'm so glad papa got to experience one of the early monumental ones. Apparently, this time it was more than a trickle, it was an actual stream. He was so excited, he made Ed carry him downstairs to tell me and we all shared a family hug/kiss session (we're gay that way).

The third time, it happened much the same as the first. Only this time with every dribble he got out, he would lean over and hug me with this giant smile on his face. It was the best thing ever.

I'm trying not to get too excited because as I understand it, this can happen then they can completely lose interest. The bribery has now evolved into two chocolate chips for every tinkle on the potty. Who wouldn't go tinkle on the potty for two chocolate chips? Did I mention it's Ghirardelli chocolate??

schoolhouse rock

Because of the little man's newfound appreciation of punctuation, I pulled out the Schoolhouse Rock DVD I received from a friend a while back. He was too young to appreciate it when he got it. But then I remembered the "Interjections" ditty from my childhood and how it was chockfull of exclamation points.

It didn't disappoint. The boy loves it. In fact, now we have this new little duet where we sing.

US: So when you're happy...
HIM: HOORAY!

US: Or sad...
HIM: Awww.

US: Or frightened...
HIM: EEK!

US: Or mad...
HIM: RATS!

US: Or excited...
HIM: WOW!

US: Or glad...
HIM: HEY!

...An interjection starts the sentence right!!!!

It's great fun. The best part is hearing him join in when they sing "Alleluia, Alleluia!" as the TV screen fills with exclamation points.

quote of the day (and quite possibly the saddest thing ever)

Last night:

"I need new Nukkie. This one has tears on it."

punctuation geek

Our son has developed a strange obsession with punctuation. It's not like we tried to teach it to him -- it happened by accident. One night before bed we were reading our "Family Car Songbook" (actual title) which had become a pretty regular staple in the before-bed ritual. He enjoyed hearing us sing the songs and would join in whenever he felt like it. That was before his puctuation obsession.

Then he noticed the song titles in big bold letters across the top of the pages and one night asked,
"What's this Mama?"
"It's a comma."
"What's this?"
"That's an apostrophe."

So now, every night, instead of reading stories, or even singing songs, he selects the book based on how much punctuation it has. He can now identify a period, a comma, an apostrophe, an exclamation point, a hyphen, a question mark, parentheses and just yesterday I heard this:

"MAMA COME HERE! AN ELLIPSIS!!!"
Low and behold, there it was in all its glory...the ellipsis.

He is so going to get beat up one day.

and just so you know

Blogging isn't as much fun on dialup. We've been without DSL since Tuesday. My IT guy (Ed) is stumped. I'm ready to start the cave drawings.

if this keeps up, hello nba

We had the little man's two-year checkup the other day.

height: 90th percentile
weight: 25th percentile
head: 75th percentile (that would be the schulz genes)

and they continued to sing happy birthday every day until the last of the soccer ball cake was eaten

mauphesis!

A few weeks ago, Elian woke up from his nap crying, clearly disturbed as if he had had a bad nightmare. I asked him if he was thinking about something scary and he said, yes, "Mauphesis. Crib."

Generally I can understand about 89% of what the boy says. But this Mauphesis, I had no idea. So throughout the day I probed. "Buddy, what is Mauphesis?" I just wanted to rule out that there were mice scurrying around in his crib with him. The more I asked, the sillier looks and responses I got. He would point at anything and say, "Mauphesis."

Fast forward to a few days ago. He wakes up from his nap. I go in his room to find him seated holding his two Targets he fell asleep with. As I approached the crib, he tossed both Targets into the air and yelled, "MAUPHESIS!!!!!" and began laughing very hard.

Whatever mauphesis is, it is no longer scary. It has since become a big part of his comic routine.

how to eat a donut

art

Title: A Boy and His Hair
Medium: Play-Doh
Artist: Papa

quote of the day

(While changing diaper.)

"I love big pee-pees!"

And, just in case we didn't hear him the first time. "I LOVE big pee-pees! I LOVE big pee-pees!"

Not knowing what to say to that, I finally replied, "Yes, what's not to love about them?"

"gaga boing-bock"

This is something our little man enjoys saying these days.