kamikaze squirrels

What is it with squirrels these days?

I've never been a fan of the squirrel. I don't trust them. When I walk out the door, I half-expect one to pounce on my head and gnaw out my jugular. Maybe it's in my genes. Not that he would ever harm them, but my dad has worked his entire life to eradicate the persistent pests from his bird feeders. He's purchased every "squirrel resistant" bird feeder known to man. The most entertaining of which, has to be this one.

Maybe it's my imagination (or nightmare), but lately it seems like the squirrel population has quaddrupled. And through survival of the fittest, they've become far more fearless. Exhibit a: It used to be when I walked Norman, as we headed down the sidewalk, the squirrels would madly dart out of the way in every direction. Now they just sit there like they're just waiting for us. In fact, I know Norman could've had a big, fat tasty squirrel in his mouth on many occasions. But he doesn't even bother. They've taken the thrill of the hunt away from him. It's as if they're not even trying. Do they have some kind of death wish or is this all part of their master plan?? They just sit there on the bottom of the tree until Norman's teeth are two inches from their fluffy grey tails. Then they say, "dum, dee, dum...oh, I guess I'd better get a move on and scurry up this tree. I'm a squirrel afterall..."

This troubles me. If squirrels are no longer afraid of a big black dog, soon, they will no longer be afraid of us. And then what!?!?!? THEY TAKE OVER THE PLANET, THAT'S WHAT!!!!!!